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Dick Cheney Rolls in His Grave
Of course, he's not actually dead. He just wishes you were
Did you feel that? That sickly sort of rolling wave, that disquieting, genital-shriveling temblor of seething grumpiness that swept through the land and made dogs spasm, trees shudder and giant SUVs spit oil and misfire?
You might've missed it. It happened just after Bill Clinton returned from his rather astonishing rescue mission to North Korea, two exhausted, grateful, grinning, tearful young American female journalists in tow, Al Gore standing by with a giant smile and President Obama and much of his administration off in the wings, nodding approvingly, as the entire nation found itself a bit dumbfounded at the calm and rather effortless brand of new, intelligent, humble, hugely effective humanitarian patriotism on display here.
The churning, teeth-grinding rumble of disquiet? It was coming, of course, from Dick Cheney.
(Author note: From here on out, the phrase "Dick Cheney" shall hereby refer not merely to the former vice-president himself, but also to the sour, clenched worldview he so perfectly encapsulated and still so lovingly represents.
Dick Cheney is a lexical wonder. He can be a violent action verb: "Dude I just Dick Cheney'd that squirrel with my F-150." He is a dark intention: "Let's pull a Dick Cheney on that queer kid in the locker room." He is, most of all, a state of being, a mindset, a fixed position of general disgust. "Sorry lady, I can't save you from this burning building. I'm far too Dick Cheney to give a damn." Clear? Excellent. Let's continue).
See, I'm guessing Dick Cheney the man/mindset was none too pleased at the recent turn of news events. I imagine Dick to be right now re-watching the various video clips of the North Korea fiasco, scowling deeply at the silly/surreal photos of Clinton seated next to -- and towering over -- little Kim Jong Il, the former a natural statesman and the latter trying like hell not to look like some sort of scruffy hunk of semicomatose lint.
Dick is right now hurling his razor-filled oatmeal at the TV screen, wondering just what the hell happened to the true-blooded, trigger-happy, America-as-a-clenched-fist country he worked so hard to devolve and decimate and turn into a giant itchy shotgun. Sending a former president to talk with this pipsqueak terrorist? Giving a nuke-happy dictator a face-saving photo op on the NYT? Dick despises every goddamn liberal hippie second of it.
See, what Dick would've done is, Dick would've marched right in to Pyongyang -- or rather, let some unlucky Marines march over there -- with a few nukes, about 50 tons of C4 and a squadron of fighters, and shown that wobbly pipsqueak tyrant the what what.
Oh sure, an insane, intractable pseudo war with a destitute, pathetic country like North Korea would've been a disaster in roughly 1,000 ways. Who the hell cares? Dick would've made a fortune. He and his hawk buddies would've never let America look so weak in the eyes of dismal tyrants the world over as Obama and Clinton just did -- no matter how well it worked, no matter that it might lead to renewed talks about shutting down N. Korea's nuke program, no matter that the two reporters are now home safe and happy, and it didn't cost the U.S. hundreds of billions, waste soldiers lives and earn us the hate and disrespect of the planet. Dick wants none of that crap.
Former U.N. Ambassador and noted hunk of anger meat John Bolton was quick to parrot the Cheney worldview in a hissing little Op-Ed in the Washington Post, saying the entire rescue reeked of American wimpiness, of dangerous, kowtowing diplomacy, when what we should be doing is saber rattling and making macho threats and maybe bombing a few hundred thousand innocent civilians to death to make some sort of point. Hey, it worked in Iraq! Oh wait.
Dick Cheney reminds us of one thing: this is a perfect moment to reflect. It is a moment to pause, take a look around and offer a giant heap of gratitude and a huge dose of awe for just what it is that Barack Obama hath wrought.
It is a moment, mainly, to compare governing styles, dominant political attitudes, the directions and worldviews of two very, very different Americas: The one Dick so brutally represented and drove like an ice pick so deeply into the national heart, and the one President Obama is now working to unravel, redirect, heal.
The difference is staggering. See, right now the kill-'em-all-and-let-God-sort-'em-out crowd is utterly disgusted that President Obama clearly has zero qualms about taking a notch or five out of bedpost of American machismo bulls--t, about swiping the cancer stick from the mouth of the long dead Marlboro Man and replacing it with something like integrity, calm words of wisdom, tact.
To the Cheney metaverse, this is a disgusting and shameful way to do America's business. With the North Korea situation, we didn't come out looking like sweaty, bulbous titans. There was no red-faced screaming, no flag-draped caskets. Most of all, America didn't get to thump its chest. And if America can't thump its chest and pull out the biggest gun and let the world know who's still boss, well, America has no power whatsoever.
Who the hell wants to be known for demonstrating peaceful, effective humanitarianism and calm diplomacy, and saving human lives if it makes us look like a bunch of weak-kneed pansies? Where is the glory? Where's the firepower? Image is everything. Strut the plumage. Carry the biggest stick. In Cheneyland, sneering intimidation is not only useful, it's vital. There is nothing else.
Or maybe not. Maybe the Obama Way is already turning out to be far more effective, more subtle and intriguing, and much more in America's favor, as tyrannical psychopaths like Kim Jong Il are stupefied into compliance by even the pretense of being taken seriously by the Great Satan, and sane world leaders across the globe finally see a country they can deal with intelligently on pressing matters instead of merely joining them at the gun range to blast stuff to hell.
You might say Dick is not pleased. In fact, Dick Cheney -- and the entire hawkish, antagonistic worldview he embodies -- is downright furious at this country's dangerous new direction. Which, in its way, just might be the best news I've heard all year.
- Posted in
72 Comments so far
Show AllPrinceton University just hired John Bolton.
And Rumsfeld is on their list of most Honored Alumni, the guy who failed at doing evil well, or was the Chaos and Civil War intentially instigated?
You bet it was!
Maybe the Obama Way is already turning out to be far more effective, more subtle and intriguing,...
-----------------------
We are talking about the Obama who is conducting military operations inside Pakistan with zero legal authority, correct?
We are talking about the Obama who is renditioning foreigners merely accused of minor crimes like contract fraud and allegedly torturing them?
We are talking about the Obama who stands passively by while military thugs occupy the government of Honduras too afraid to even say the word "coup"?
Is this not exactly what Cheney would do?
Cygnus: You are so correct. Cheney would have a drone drop one on the Dear Leader...same as what Brrack is doing in "Afpak."
I'm with you except for Honduras - Cheney would have invaded by now. What right do we have to unilaterally meddle in any other country's affairs? Haven't we seen where that leads? This is all assuming (big IF) that the CIA is not behind the coup in the first place.
Mark Morford believes that Obama is an example of "integrity, calm words of wisdom, tact." Those lavish words of praise would probably come as a surprise to the Iranians as Obama, like Bush, continues to warn Iran that they should dismantle their nuclear weapons program despite Iran's continued attempts to explain to Obama that they intend to use nuclear energy not to build weapons but to harness that energy as a way to help their people. Obama loves to lecture Iran as to what it can and cannot do but yet has remained strangely mute regarding Israel's 200 to 300 nuclear weapons.
Also, it is quite doubtful if Dick Cheney, like Karl Rove, is losing much sleep these days as both of them undoubtedly realize that the pusillanimous Democrats have no intention of taking any punitive measures against either one of them for the criminal actions that they had committed in the eight years that they had been in office.
Indeed.
If anything, Cheney is sending Obama a "Thank You" note for cementing "Unitary Executive" powers that Bush was unable to accomplish.
By the time Jeb, Mitt or Sarah takes the reins the President will be have accreted enough power to ignore the congress entirely.
Nobody will even bat an eye at allegations of torture, spying or wars without authorization...After all, Obama did it too.
Morford is a typical, SF, gay-bourgeois, yuppie liberal of the sort who keeps getting Pelosi re-elected.
But is he merely a useful idiot for the corporatists or is he knowingly trying to con the progressives?
Same result... Same difference...
Same result.
But look at his website:
http://markmorfordyoga.com/
I think he's just a gullible narcissist getting rich off writing drivel.
Like many other "left-wing" shills for Obama (like Juan Cole), he doesn't want to focus on anything bad about Obama. He wants to support Obama. He feels that the Republicans are much worse (but can't specifically articulate why with regard to policy) and so he would rather focus on them. They're easy targets for a quick column.
Morford is guilty of conning progressives by knowingly omitting any disagreements he has with Obama. I doubt Morford supports Obama's opposition to gays or pot legalization. But he would rather not talk about that. But the on big issues, I don't even know where he stands. For example, after years of reading Juan Cole and thinking I understood his politics, I was shocked to discover , while looking through his archives, that he supported both the invasion of Afghanistan AND Iraq.
Of course, in 2001 and 2003 Morford did oppose the invasion of Afghanistan and Iraq, so what gives? What about the occupations? Has he forgotten we're still there?
When did our occupation of Iraq and Afghanistan and our bombing of Pakistan become "peaceful, effective humanitarianism and calm diplomacy" aimed at "saving human lives"?
He thinks Cheney would ask "where's the firepower?" Mr. Morford, "the firepower" is exactly where Cheney left it - in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Obama is bringing "the firepower" to Pakistan, while supporting a coup in Honduras, increasing our "firepower" in places like Georgia, Columbia, and Israel. Not to mention selling more more "firepower" to the rest of the world than any other nation. Really now, what's Cheney got to be unhappy about? Is he unsatisfied with Obama's gift of total legal impunity? How ungrateful!
He wrote this about Bush in 2003, but it works just as well for Obama in 2009:
"Our soldiers are not protecting our freedoms. They are not preventing more terrorism. They are not guaranteeing continued free speech. Because the only true threat to such freedoms is coming from within."
Damn,
I was praying it was true. And I'm an atheist.
I though, YES! I just must have missed it! Dirty Dick is Dead!
Bummer.
Now I'm going to be bummed-out the rest of the day.
I suspect DICK will be around for quite some time. Remember only the GOOD die young.
What "new direction"?!? From what I can see, the main difference between Bush and Obama vis-a-vis foreign policy is style and not substance. Keeping this country's stupidly interventionistic, warlike foreign policy on course will be the ruin of it yet.
I was thinking the same thing. I'm no foreign policy wonk but even I think that this article is just plain silly dilly. If Af/Pak are going to be invaded, Cheney won't be rolling in his grave but drooling and laughing at Obama for doing his dirty work. My fear is messing with Afghanistan especially will do to the US what it did to USSR.
"My fear is messing with Afghanistan especially will do to the US what it did to USSR."
Your fear is my certainty. The country will waste trillions on this "effort" and eventually depart, admitting defeat, once again, of the world's greatest military (nothing more than a PR campaign), after the deaths of countless innocents, each of which breeds another whole family of "terrorist insurgents". The lunatics are in control of the asylum. Literally.
Morford's whole schtick is to express his opinions in silly, flippant, kind of gay-campy (like his remark about Cheney being "genital shriveling") ways. Is his column considered opinion or humor?
pjd412
I agree. I also think that that same criticism can be leveled, justifiably, against the NY Times Op Ed writer Maureen Dowd as it is often confusing not knowing whether her [alleged] hip style of writing is supposed to be taken seriously or is to be looked upon as being satire. It is as if she is unable to write a simple sentence in an earnest manner while apparently hoping that her readers will consider her to be the court jester of the New York Times if not the entire literary world.
"Is his column considered opinion or humor?"
He's serious. He just writes his opinions in the form of schtick. But his sincere opinions are often so absurd they're humorous (in the same way FOX New fawning over Bush is humorous- there's some nausea mixed in there).
My favorite example of this is:
"Many spiritually advanced people I know (not coweringly religious, mind you, but deeply spiritual) identify Obama as a Lightworker, that rare kind of attuned being who has the ability to lead us not merely to new foreign policies or health care plans or whatnot, but who can actually help usher in a new way of being on the planet, of relating and connecting and engaging with this bizarre earthly experiment. These kinds of people actually help us evolve".
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2008/06/06/notes060608.DTL
It'd be cute and funny if Obama wasn't the same as Bush. Imagine if Bill Kristol called Bush a "lightmaker", the Daily Show would have material for years.
FWIW, I used to read and enjoy Morford regularly.
I don't want to offend fellow Hunter S. Thompson fans, but Morford's writing had a Gonzo flavor to it that appealed to me; I'm pretty sure I started taking notice after reading some very sharp anti-Bush screeds he'd written.
I never shared HST's passion for firearms, nor Morford's geeky passion for high-tech gadgetry-- and overuse of sexual imagery and paraphernalia references. (Not that there's anything wrong with it!) But I wasn't put off by these idiosyncracies, since Morford had a satirical and cynical sensibility that resonated with my own.
But the very Morford article you quote was the beginning of the end of my Morford honeymoon. In fact, since I was always dubious at best about Obama, at first I took it for satire.
Just to pick a couple of other "non-Establishment" voices, last year Matt Taibbi and cartoonist Tom Tomorrow also seemed unduly enthralled with Obama-- but they've returned to their senses. As others here have noted, Morford still Believes.
But the release of the journalists wasn't accomplished by some broad new humanitarian renaissance in US foreign policy; it was an isolated event with unique circumstances that made the release possible as a sort of "win-win" outcome for the US and N Korea.
Perhaps eventually Morford will come to see that Obama is no "lightworker"-- he's not even a glow-in-the-dark iDildo® with wireless headphones and a three-inch self-cleaning viewscreen.
· Yr Obd't Servant
Sioux Rose
O.S. I noticed the sexual innuendos, too. VERY funny last paragraph (that you wrote). You should send it to Moford. He'd probably like the parody!
I don't know which it really is but whatever it is, what he wrote is completely laughable. Cheney's having his fun in the sun while we're getting further soaked into economic depression and being further hated by nations that ours have been bombing and occupying. :(
The country is already ruined. The corpse is dead but just doesn't realize it yet.
Let him roll all he wants, as long as he is in his grave!
The only problem I have with the column is that we had the chance to invade North Korea, in the first years of the Cheny-Bush administration. Instead of the fabrications about WMD in Iraq, we could have invaded a country that actually had nuclear weapons. But North Korea has an army of about a million men, and the exercise would not have been as "easy" as Iraq has been.
How about invading a country that has lots more nukes than North Korea, attacks and/or threatens to attack neighboring countries, occupies another people's land, practices apartheid, ignores UN General Assembly resolutions, etc., etc.???
Need I spell out I.S.R.A.E.L?
Interesting post Lingum.
I guess it all depends on your P.O.V. hmmm?
With "lots more nukes than North Korea, attacks and/or threatens to attack neighboring countries, occupies another people's land, practices apartheid, ignores UN General Assembly resolutions, etc., etc." I thought you were describing "the United States of America".
I think that is closer to Morford's point.
"But North Korea has an army of about a million men ... "
Not to mention literally thousands of artillery pieces aimed at South Korea. These would most likely overwhelm our 37 thousand or so troops along the border. It would have been a bloody mess. Cheney would have loved it. Probably would've pushed for nukes ...
Question,
What do Cheney, Obama, all of the members of both Houses in Washington, and in all of the States, as well as most of the local 'party' representatives; have in common?
Answer: They are Muppet, with large holes in their backs (Bush and Cheney's is most likely 'lower down') where the members of the Plutocratic Oligarchy insert either hand, and manipulate the "Muppet's" words, and actions, and thoughts.
America, these are YOUR 'people'--whether they are Bush/Cheney/Rove etc or Obama/Biden/Emanuel etc-they represent YOU---and they PROVE that YOU are lacking in true character, integrity, courage, and the will to make the sacrifices needed to have a 'Democracy'.
You once were 'powerful' and 'influential'. You once had the potential to change the world and set the example for humanity for thousands of years into the future.
Instead, you magnified the negative and proved that the Human race is doomed to failure unless they use YOU as there "negative example".
Good Luck America, you really need it.
Ouch!
You once were 'powerful' and 'influential'.
Built on a foundation of slavery and genocide, and later on such atrocities as child labor paid less than slave wages working 12 hour days in coal mines and factories. I remember in the 50's and 60's the "migrant laborers", herded around and about like animals, following the harvest seasons, living in horrid shacks and on old buses working for less than slave wages. I could go on. Yes. Power and Influence. Ha! And downhill from there?
NativeSon.....what exactly would you have us do?
I agree with you, N.S.
Civility has been replaced with hostility.
Cheney rolling over in his grave? LOL ! Oh please ! Obama's replacing the US troops in Iraq with mercenaries and redirecting troops and adding even more mercenaries to Af/Pak and just for a lousy speech by Clinton, Cheney is rolling over in his grave? Obama/Biden/Holder refused to prosecute that giant slob and now he's dancing around happily like a dancing macarena ! Bill Clinton talks to the NK leader the same way Dubya would talk to King Abdullah, talk and bribe. I'm no foreign policy wonk but this article is too much silly dilly. Thanks for the stupid laughs !
Unfortunately, while The Dick spends daylight hours in a dirt-filled coffin in the basement of the Faux News building, it's not an actual 'grave'.
off topic comment deleted by author
"Pricky Dick" Cheney is living proof that there is no God. Intelligent design, my ass!
Wrong! Cheney proves there IS evil!!!!!! He does not prove that there is no God. God is the light and life all around you....the wind and water and Nature.....the forces that hold chaos at bay......the intricate shape of the universe.......What Cheney and his "type" have done is to render all men's dicks in chains!
INANNA,
Please do consider that the proof of evil actions is much more clear, but that raw or pure evil -- beyond the choice of humankind -- is another issue of "faith", as there can be no proof of the ineffable.
I choose to view 'pure evil' as is expressed in a medically flawed individual, a psychopathically defective and warped lack of conscience, empathy, and/or any sense of shame ( e.g. see PONEROLOGY.COM ). Most are likely born that way, although some are made by egregious early negative experiences, suffering, and reinforcement.
¿ Is it not much more empowering to view human morality as a human choice, then just blame it upon the "fates", or otherwise unseen forces ?
WE MUST LEARN TO CHOOSE MORE WISELY
« We must be the change we wish to see in the world » — Gandhi
The striving for true meaning, consciousness, presence, and balance with nature ( and ourselves ) has been socially camouflaged in the tragically unfulfillable pursuit of materialism and superficial domination over others.
As we are intrinsically spiritual beings who share a physical existence.
The lures of this visible, sensual, and tangible world can quite easily dominate people's individual and collective perceptions and understanding -- occluding our natural expression of beauty, love, balance, and grace -- that indigenous folks have long been renown for.
Ultimately, every moment is a choice and a chance to choose differently and more wisely -- and because a society is much more than the sum of its parts, the work belongs to each individual to become more aware and conscious of what really is.
*=*=*>> When we focus our attention and intention on the negative, the scarce, and the suffering long endured -- we propagate that unsettling past forward as a terrible and intractable future, where we feel and act that the "rails under our train" will lead us only to our doom over some abyss or cliff.
*=*=*>> When we focus our attention and intention on the positive, the abundant, and the joy long cherished -- we propagate that unprecedented possibility forward as a wonderful and flexible future, where we feel and act that the "rails under our train" -- that we moment by moment design, fabricate, and choose the orientation -- will lead us to our promise of heaven on Earth.
May we each be blessed to see, recognize, and acknowledge
that sacred light of each person's heart of hearts in others --
so as to learn to accept and expect that same light within ourselves
. . || . .
__/\__
I love this post so much it was worth reading verbatim the second time it was posted...
Please go to the other article this was posted at in order to read my elequent reply...
I dont have the capacity to cut'n'paste with my hand-held device... (which forces me to be more creative)...
So please check out my earlier reply in the archives... Pat LaMarche... The Culture of Violence in America
Abundant Luv, Sioux Rose, and anyone else that may resonate with transcendental love vibration...
We are TRULY family... Even if the closest we ever come to connection is in this medium...
I hope to meet you all in some time of universal peace... If not sooner... In the light of day... And the light of love...
Peace, love, and light...
Sioux Rose
GOLDEN: I did go to that thread and I thought it was your most powerfully articulate post EVER. Of course I'm biased as it was a wonderful rebuttal that I would wish to use towards those that berate the mystical concepts I choose to share in this forum.
Namaste's words were also powerful. I think it's great that some of us bring a higher understanding to the forum, which of course complements the perspectives of those with penchants for history, or economics, or political gamesmanship. This proves my thesis that humanity was designed with far more than one "right" purpose or perspective in mind. Ultimately we come in 12 models, with infinite variations (our personal individuation of matter, light & energy) upon each manifest form. It's not about competition, it's about holism. These diverse paths to understanding enhance us all and prompt our growth. I believe that biological evolution is only part of the life-story on earth. A spiritual parallel evolution is always at work.
SIOUX,
de nada.
I've been pumping up the volume over on "US Economic Myths Bite the Dust", please do see and save ( before the usual purg♂s occur) :
http://www.commondreams.org/view/2009/08/14-6#comments
I've decided that the viral meme of making people aware of our psychopathic ponarchy ( gov't by the insane of the sane ) is in a real sense my "Holy Grail" pursuit.
I have put behind me any concerns about universal love not being abundant enough to solve mental defects in psychopaths.
Perhaps we'll eventually find a brain surgery technique to re-install a conscience, but until then, we have to take protective actions to isolate the REAL crazies ( ~ 1 in 10 ) all around us ( per EEGs ).
_||_
Sioux Rose
LUV, You are such an advanced Atlantean that your knowledge of energy transferences sometimes blows ME out of the water. When the far out out far out one another, it has to be fun (if not the stuff of crazy-making) for our more left-brain earth bound friends & peers in this diverse forum.
GOLDEN MEAN,
de nada
{ Shall we say almost verbatim, as the first few paragraphs morphed the parent postings? }
Yes we are all CHILDREN of LOVE ( kindly connecting to the ineffable ONE as kindred ), especially vibrant and aware folks who care to make a powerful difference in this world.
Yes, I read your reply and we do resonant - shall I say logarithmically ?
¡ Holy Napier's Bones !
Are you tuned into the concept of resonance being the mode of energy exchange that underlays both our modern technological world and that of the spirit ?
That the sound vibrational energy of A-U-M recapitulates the act of creation, so that with every breath we access the powers that create worlds ?
Kurt Vonnegut's "Sirens of Titan" ( so way before Cassini & Huygens touch -- out there ) was the concept architect of TRULY connected esoteric families ( was it the wombutter that set the beat ? ), that we appear to be karmically associated with across the ages and deep space.
Blessings
_||_
Abundant Luv
Thank you so much for your wonderful post.
namaste
It is a moment, mainly, to compare governing styles, dominant political attitudes, the directions and worldviews of two very, very different Americas: The one Dick so brutally represented and drove like an ice pick so deeply into the national heart, and the one President Obama is now working to unravel, redirect, heal.
Who does the author think he's kidding with nonsense like this?
This nothing should be in his grave, or better yet creamated and his stinking ashes sent a long ways out from this country and dumped. He deserves no space in this country that he assisted in totally destroying. Nancy Palosi the enabler kept the impeachment off the table. Has this not have happened, placing a pair of handcuffs on his slimy arms would have possibly jolted that pacemaker into a higher gear and did the much needed trick. He is a total disgrace to this nation.
Boy, there is an image. Dick Cheney and Nancy Pelosi. Would kinda be the modern version of "American Gothic" would it not?
The main difference between Obama and Cheney is that Cheney doesn't give a rats ass and Obama (and Clinton) knows that this is a way to PRETEND that there are things you believe in beyond capitalistic greed.
If Obama believes in human rights, why is HIS administration strongly advocating for imprisoning people for years and years without access to justice? Then, if there is a trial and people are found innocent of the charges, HIS administration will still keep the exonerated in prison.
The release of these people (which is correct) is primarily a PR ploy. When will we see Mr. Clinton speak up for the hundreds, if not thousands, of probably innocent people whose lives are being destroyed within U.S. prisons here and abroad? Oh Yeah, that wouldn't be good PR.
Cheney's coffin is still in the White House. I don't know how they all fit inside!
Bird.....I agree with your assessment. Taking it further.....how audacious of the U.S.! We hold Middle Eastern prisoners with no hope for their release. But we send Bill Clinton in to NK wearing a white hat....and out he comes with 2 prisoners, lickety split! I guess that makes NK a lot more compassionate then the U.S? The point is, of course, "the white hat." Obama's administration LOOK'S like the good guys. How can they be tho...with most of the same operatives as were in the Bush admin. calling the shots?
Another troubling thought.....what is the motive? I keep wracking my brain over this one. Is it really just Imperialist hegemony? Corporate takeover? Disaster Capitalism? Not that all this isn't bad enough...but is there something else going on? It doesn't make sense to ruin your own country, poison the food and water, make robots out of citizens, level the entire world into a third world work force....why? After all this is done, after global warming ruins or at least changes the planet drastically....then what? How will the rich keep getting richer then?. Who will the hawks war against then? What is this really all about?