Listen up, godless and well-tanned heathens waging your unholy war on Christmas: Megyn Kelly has a few words for you. Last night the Fox host dismissed the "ridiculous" notion that it might be racist in this day and age to have a white Santa Claus. She is certain: Santa (a fictional character based on a Turkish saint) "just is white....He is what he is." And Jesus (a Semite) was too. See, you can't just go changing "facts" that make you "uncomfortable" 'cause of some bogus "political agenda," explain the scholarly "experts" at Fox "News."

In another surreal step in the ongoing GOP war on women, Michigan legislators have passed a bill requiring women to buy a separate insurance rider to cover abortion, just in case they are one day confronted with any sorrowful scenario - rape, incest, illness, unviable fetus - that might call for an abortion. The law, sparked by a Right-to-Life (sic) petition, further cements the red-state status of Michigan, where the ACLU is suing Catholic bishops over the case of a pregnant woman turned away three times from a Catholic hospital before painfully miscarrying - a case prompting a hysterical rant from the National Review about baby-killling that reflects the same right-wing fevered-dream "thinking" behind the insurance law.

"Any abortionist with eyes in his head knows exactly what sort of grisly business he is about, and the abortion faction...desires that everybody should have the same blood on their hands, so as to deepen the national commitment (to) elective homicide."

After years of damning charges, rumors and reports, over a dozen officers at the notorious Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department have been indicted for brutal abuse of jail inmates ranging from fracture-causing beatings to falsifying records to assaulting visitors. The indictments echo charges from the FBI, the ACLU, a county commission and news stories that deputies were regularly encouraged to beat inmates, but "not in the face." The grand jury said Sheriff Lee Baca was responsible for "behavior that had become institutionalized." Baca said "it's a sad day" when people are saying all these mean things about him.