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Cereal Boxes and Consumers
I've figured out there's no Santa Claus and I know there's no Easter Bunny. You might as well tell me what's wrong with the 4th of July. -Precocious child to parents
They've taken all the fun out of cereal boxes. That's not all. They've imposed big fines on the one who tried to make them fun and threatened another. Of course the cereal companies are partly to blame.
Those of advanced years remember with what pleasure the new cereal box's advent at the breakfast table was greeted by the young. In families with more than one child that one prize led to breakfast time controversy, as the siblings tried to determine who the recipient of the coveted object should be. Among the treasured prizes were such things as decoder rings that enabled the wearer to decode secret messages should the decoder happen upon any. Other prizes included plastic airplanes that purported to be models of actual airplanes but bore only the faintest resemblance to any actual airplane. In the 1950's there were even more exciting trinkets including the Atomic Ring and the Meteorite Ring, the characteristics of which are charmingly described by Edward Meyer in the College Hill Review. Recent events suggest that cereal companies may want to return to the days of freebies in boxes instead of health claims on boxes. Consider the plight of Kellogg's Frosted Mini-Wheats and their recent encounter with the Federal Trade Commission.
Those who manufacture "Bite Size" Frosted Mini Wheats distinguishing them from other cereals that are presumably not "Bite Size" (although exactly how to describe the size of a Post Toastie or a Rice Krispie I'll leave professional advertisers to decide) have long since abandoned the practice of including the eagerly awaited toy in the box designed to appeal to the young consumer. This is the 21st Century and cereal companies believe that in order to attract buyers it's the nutritional rather than the amusement value that counts. Kellogg's did research and, according to the Federal Trade Commission, claimed in its advertising that the attention span of children who ate Frosted Mini Wheats improved nearly 20 percent over children who skipped breakfast. (Some may wonder if there is a scientific disconnect in that conclusion but I'll leave that to those smarter than I to figure out.) The FTC found that Kellogg's study showed an improvement in only 11 per cent of the students studied and the attention span of only one-half of those students increased 20 per cent. As a result of this, Kellogg's will be subject to a fine of up to $18,000. It would probably have been better off sticking to decoder rings and tiny plastic airplanes. Since misery loves company, Kellogg's is probably delighted with the plight of its rival, General Mills.
General Mills has been taken to task not by the Federal Trade Commission but by the Food and Drug Administration. (Why two different agencies have jurisdiction over seemingly identical infractions is unclear. It may be because Cheerios' infraction affects those with heart conditions rather than attention deficit disorder. That suggests that many cereals are only half a generation removed from snake oil.)
General Mills has apparently been suffering from Oatmeal Envy. According to the FDA it has been misleading those seeking to reduce their cholesterol. It has long been known that oatmeal as well as certain other foods can reduce cholesterol. In a study released by the Mayo Clinic describing the foods that lower cholesterol, however, cheerios were not included. Undeterred by its non-inclusion, for the last two years General Mills proclaimed that those who faithfully eat the cheerful little "O"s can reduce their cholesterol by 4 per cent within six weeks. In so doing, it has awakened an FDA that spent a happy 8 years under George Bush's administration, sleeping. In a letter to General Mills, the re-awakened FDA advised the company that: "Based on claims made on your product's label, we have determined that your Cheerios® Toasted Whole Grain Oat Cereal is promoted for conditions that cause it to be a drug because the product is intended for use in the prevention, mitigation, and treatment of disease." The letter goes on to advise the company that cheerios may not be legally marketed with the above claims in the United States without an approved new drug application." General Mills says its science is strong and it looks forward "to discussing this with FDA." If it loses it can always put decoder rings back in the packages.
22 Comments so far
Show AllAn American who believes anything the predatory capitalists say about anything is a fool and a sucker. Should be culled, anyway.
The dry cereal makers are racketeers of the first order. They take whole grains--rice, wheat, oats, barley--grind it, pound it, shape it, bake it and strip it of most of its natural nutrients other than raw carbohydrates, then dye it and flavor it with weird chemicals, throw in a few chemical vitamins and a mineral or two and sell it at astronomic markups from what they purchased the vast boxcar loads of grains. They act like bank robbers who flee with the loot, but throw a few coins on the floor as they depart and then shout, "See, it's enriched!!" It seems possible that there's more nutrients and less toxic dyes and chemicals in the cardboard carton than in some of these cereals.
Better find a store or food coop with bulk bins and get your own whole grains at a fraction of the cost of dry boxed cereals. Then flavor it with fruit, maple syrup, nuts, in a possible myriad of combinations and let the kids do likewise.
That's worked for years in my house and it gives the hard pressed budget some real breathing room
The dry cereal makers are racketeers of the first order. They take whole grains--rice, wheat, oats, barley--grind it, pound it, shape it, bake it and strip it of most of its natural nutrients other than raw carbohydrates, then dye it and flavor it with weird chemicals
This sounds remarkably like the process of being elected to public office.
Brilliant...!
Remember... Dubya and Obombya are empty calories...
Same product... Different packaging...
Same multinational corporation...
Well I choose to get the kind of cereal that takes those whole grains, rice, wheat, oats, barley, etc., and just puffs them up. The Kashi Honey Puffs cereal is awesome.
Excellent post. Thank you.
Cheerios is a drug? Hmmm. I'll have to go to my doctor to see if I can get a prescription so, a year from now, I can have Medicare Part B pay for it.
Not many people know this except a few right wing proctologists and gastroenterologists. Rush Limbaugh has terrible problems with his bowels. He is a virtual medical textbook on the complications of constipation. He spends hours on the toilet trying to eliminate. Most of the time is spent writing scripts for his shows but he does read the backs and sides of cereal boxes as well as the prose on the box of Preparation H.
Yes, he does have a bowel control problem. Crap comes out the wrong end.
Must be a rumor, as the shit flows out of him quite effortlessly.
gees mate, that was a coffee out of nose post
:D
Hey --- don't knock it. I started eating frosted bite size shredded wheat a few years ago (actually, a generic brand)and my attention span increased so much I realized I was living in a fascist, evil empire.
Unfortunately, I didn't know what to do about it because as a kid I stared into a spintharoscope (a big one from my chemistry set -- not just a little atomic ring) for hours on end, and burned my brain out.
I'm planning to get some x-ray glasses and stare at Congress and the White House to see what really goes on in there. I guess I'd better fill up on frosted wheat first...
Maybe I am who I am today because of a breakfast cereal. Popeye has his spinach, I have my Zoom cereal. Zoom was introduced by Saturday morning commercials when I was about ten years old. I don't remember the commercials but they must have been something. I do remember hounding my mother week after week to buy me some Zoom. She kept telling me I wouldn't like it but I was relentless. Finally she got some and I said Zoom was all I wanted for dinner thank you very much. So be it. I took one mouthful, spit it out, had to leave the table where everybody else was gobbling down the usual 1950's fare and spend the night hungry. My bullshit meter was born and I never looked at a Zoom commercial (pegged) or anything else without taking a reading. Thanks Zoom! And mom.
I wonder if "Zoom" was made by the same company as "Kaboom" - I have not so fond memories of losing my Kaboom breakfast at a Sears department store when I was a kid. Mom pleaded with me to aim for the floor instead of the carpet.
I remember those saturday mornings with Commando Cody, the Lone Ranger and cartoons. The sugar pops and frosted flakes weren't far away. My mom saved us from being totally sugar addicted by feeding us oatmeal and a boiled egg with toast from monday through friday. The weekends were for stupid food. I was in Kansas then getting sprayed with radioactive dust from the atomic bomb tests in the west. I also "benefited" from the Salk polio vaccine which, because of virus viability, actually caused about 10,000 people to contract polio. Yesterday I read that people who got his vaccine (born between 1944 and 1961) in the USA are more cancer prone than others because of some toxic elements in the vaccine. Sometimes I can understand why some people retreat into a world of fantasy. They just want to get away from all the stuff wanting to kill them even if it's just make believe.
not cereal related but last night at the movies I was buying popcorn and I saw that Raisinettes now advertise on their box - "Antioxidant Fruits Inside!" - but unlike Cheerios I don't think Raisinettes competes with Big Pharma so eat up chubbies! mmmmmm fake chocolate covered antioxidants
All industrial processed food is bad for us, even the organic stuff. The problem is, as with all the problems facing us, how to transition to better quality food without people going hungry (and starving to death) during the phase in of the new way.
And how to get the process started. Continuing to spread the word by BMAP (that's "by any means possible") is good, but I wonder if there's enough time.
What do ya bet that a lot of congressional kiddies will be looking in their boxes of cereals for those freebie lumps of cash from their favorite lobbyists to NOT CHANGE A THING, except bigger lumps in their special cereal box.
And doesn't cereal seem mighty close to surreal?
If you get a plastic Obama figurine prize in your cereal packet I believe that if you take it outside into the sunshine it won't stand under scrutiny with a magnifying glass......
This is a hilarious thread...!!!
Good jokes all around...
What a fascinating read that Kellogg study must have been! Let me see, will the kid being fed the sugary stimulants be more focused than the one trying with his post-reptilian brain to formulate an effective short-term strategy to procure food during cursory concentration tests in a culture and atmosphere specifically designed to make such ready procurement impossible (especially to a child being denied food)?
Anyone remembers this Dudley Moore movie, 'Crazy People'? He's in advertising, and suddenly 'goes crazy' and starts telling the truth - AND his ads become a hit! One ad is for a cereal that says something like, "don't bother if it tastes good, but the box is cute" or something like that.