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Staircase to Nowhere: MAGA's Crowning Achievement
In a perhaps unprecedented dark time for America and the world, let us take solace in our indomitable Dear Stable Genius, who remains unwaveringly focused on taking care of shiny business: Gold social security cards like Elvis, a $400 million, lopsided shed/ballroom with gaudy columns but no main entrance, and of course gold toilets - which all keeps him so busy he hardly has time to threaten Iran with war crimes. What a time to be alive, barely.
In actual good news, No Kings Day 3.0 drew between 8 and 12 million people, thus hovering tantalizingly close to the 3.5% of a nation's populace historically required to overthrow an authoritarian regime. So good work, patriots. The over 3,000 protests, aka per Mike Johnson "Hate America rallies," ranged from Alaska's Utqiaġvik, the country's northernmost city (7 people) to Ele'ele, Kaua'i, the westernmost, from over 100,000 in New York City to nine stalwarts on Maine's Monhegan Island. Thousands of Trump's neighbors in Palm Beach turned out, ending with a twilight march to Mar-A-Lago, or as close as they could get.
Their signs were brutal: "Elect A Rapist, Expect To Get Fucked. How Many Deaths For the Epstein War? Worst President Since Trump. Criminals Belong Behind Bars, Free Balls for Members of Congress Who Lost Them, Trump Rapes Kids, Impeach Pedolf Shitler, Putin's Bitch, The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived. According to The Borowitz Report, Trump, furious about the large protests, argued they'd be much smaller if you subtract all Elon Musk's kids there because they hate him: "People are saying their number (was) much higher than 400, thousands, maybe millions. You take away Elon’s kids and almost no one was there."
There were also "half-dozens to dozens of Americans" at One King co unter-protests, reports The Fucking News, who put the number at "many-ish...Organizers say there were barely any organizers," with attendees ranging from "a tiny number of young people to a die-hard faction of dying people." In Palm Beach, one man carried a heavy sign that read, "Deport the white liberals"; masked to protect himself "against the vindictive left," he said he left soon after he was "attacked" by a woman who denied touching him; her comrades said the guy just dropped his sign "because he was too weak to carry it."
Their small numbers did face competition from "the incredible shrinking CPAC," also meeting that day in Grapevine, Texas with a turnout of "barely thousands." Once a MAGA "center of political gravity," this year's event drew neither Trumps nor presidential candidates. One possible ick factor: MC was (still) CPAC chair Matt Schlapp, who in 2024 settled a pricey sexual misconduct lawsuit from a guy working on Hershel Walker’s (LOL) Senate campaign, who charged Schlapp groped him. The event did boast Todd Chrisley, a reality TV star doing 12 years in prison for massive fraud till Trump pardoned him. Here’s his welcome.
There was also a big contingent of South Korean “stop the steal” activists and supporters of former president Yoon Suk Yeol, impeached last year and now serving life in prison for insurrection. Still, the whole thing was a bit of a slog. Organizers tried to jazz up session subjects - a panel titled "Fraud" became “Ilhan Omar ‘Family’ Values"; Mercedes Schlapp beseeched factions not to "divide from within," which is how you divide; and when Schlapp asked them, the clueless CPAC "crowdette" mistakenly, hilariously cheered the prospect of impeachment proceedings by what could be a newly-Democratic-controlled House. SAD!
- YouTube www.youtube.com
Poor deplorable MAGA. Maybe they're disheartened by Trump's well-deserved plunging approval rating, now at barely 33%. Maybe it's because their regime is such a half-assed shitshow and their people are such self-serving, hypocritical dickwads. As in: Amidst a government shutdown that's seen TSA agents (starting salary $34,454) compelled to work without pay as Congress takes a two-week recess (pay over $170,000) on the taxpayers' dime, TMZ urged readers to send in photos of vacationing pols, and here comes Lindsey Graham at Disney World, “The Most Magical Place On Earth," gaily twirling a Little Mermaid bubble wand yet. America and Megyn Kelly: WTF.
Or maybe it's because Commander-In-Chief Private Bonespurs started another forever quagmire without legal or political justification, and it turns out wars in the Middle East are hard and complex and above his pay grade - like health care! - to solve, and now with no good options he's spewing up only staggering incoherence for strategy, like hailing "great progress" in imaginary "serious discussions" while pivoting to rabidly threatening to "conclude our lovely 'stay’ in Iran" by "obliterating" their civilian infrastructure, electricity, energy and drinking water, which is a war crime. But talks are going “unbelievably well."
Serious discussions with IranImage from Australia's The Shovel
Anyway, his true passion is turning every crass, stupid thing he or Elvis can think of fake gold like the Oval bordello and even Social Security cards, and slathering his repulsive name on structures, coins, currency, and building trashy, illegal monuments to himself like an obscene, unapproved, un-permitted, $400 million ballroom twice the size of the White House, because, "They’ve always wanted a ballroom," except now it's suddenly, "essentially a shed for what goes under it," a massive military complex, presumably a bunker where, as merciful history would have it, he'll finally free us of him, "and we're doing it very well."
He's so ballroom-enraptured that on Air Force One he just pulled out a swath of drawings to show reporters, explaining, "I thought I’d do this now because it’s easier. I’m so busy...fighting wars and other things." Quick mindless pivot to "hand-carved, beautiful, Corinthian columns" - "Corinthian wut" - he's also reportedly re-imagining for the White House facade, a change deemed "at odds with universally held historic preservation standards." Same, experts say of "barely scrutinized" ballroom plans, "riddled with design flaws" - disproportionate, pillars block windows, grand staircase to nowhere. WH lackey on "the best builder in the world": "The American people can rest well knowing this project is in his hands.” We feel better already.
Trump's "plan" for his oversized shed/ballroomImages from New York Times
And then there's his new gold toilet, mounted on a 10-foot throne near the Lincoln Memorial. The new masterwork of Secret Handshake (Best Friends Forever), it celebrates the renovation of the White House Lincoln Bedroom bathroom, all in gold, and "what this President has actually accomplished." The toilet's plaque reads, “In a time of unprecedented division, escalating conflict, and economic turmoil, President Trump focused on what truly mattered: remodeling the Lincoln Bathroom....This, his crowning achievement, is a bold reminder that (he) isn’t just a businessman, he’s taking care of business. It stands as a tribute to an unwavering visionary who looked down, saw a problem, and painted it gold.”
A Throne Fit For a King. Photo from Secret Handshake
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GOP May Kick 300,000 More Off Healthcare to Help Find $200 Billion for Trump's Iran War
"Republicans won't think twice about *literally* sacrificing you to get their way."
That's how Democrats on the US House Ways and Means Committee responded to Axios' Monday reporting on congressional Republicans considering more healthcare cuts to help fulfill President Donald Trump's request for $200 billion to continue partnering with Israel for an unconstitutional war on Iran—including a potential ground invasion.
Other critics said:
- "Is this America First?"
- "You know who isn't losing their government subsidized healthcare over this war that their government started? Israelis."
- "Republicans would rather set money on fire than try to help a single American see a doctor."
- "Cutting healthcare to pay for another regime change war in the Middle East. It's like GOP want to lose in November."
- "Are they calling this strategy Project Blue Wave?"
- "This should surprise no one: MAGA wants to pay for a war that no one wants by chipping away at your healthcare."
Michael Hardaway, a geopolitical strategist who has worked for top Democrats, argued that they "must convert this into a House AND Senate majority in November," noting that Republicans "took healthcare away from millions of Americans to pay for tax cuts for the 1%."
That was last year, when congressional Republicans and Trump used the budget reconciliation process to pass their so-called One Big Beautiful Bill Act. Between $1 trillion cuts to Medicaid over the next decade and failing to extend expiring Affordable Care Act (ACA) tax credits, the OBBBA is expected to strip healthcare coverage from up to 15 million Americans.
While the impacts of the OBBBA will play out over years, already, "in red states and blue states alike, Republican healthcare cuts are hitting communities like a wrecking ball," Senate Finance Committee Ranking Member Ron Wyden (D-Ore.) said last week, while releasing a related report with House Energy and Commerce Committee Ranking Member Frank Pallone Jr. (D-NJ).
Wyden and Pallone found that over half of the people who reenrolled in an ACA plan this year have had to or plan to reduce spending on other essentials; at least 19 health facilities have closed across 11 states; and nearly 500 employees were laid off in four states because of the GOP's healthcare cuts last year.
"Despite attempts by Trump and his allies to cast blame elsewhere, the stories and facts are rolling in from across the country," Wyden said. "Democrats will not stop elevating the voices of Americans whose health is in harm's way as a result of Republicans' healthcare cuts."
One proposal that the GOP considered but ultimately did not include in the OBBBA related to ACA cost-sharing reductions. The Congressional Budget Office estimated that the specific policy considered last year would save $31 billion but leave 300,000 more Americans uninsured through 2034.
Reporting emerged last week that House Budget Committee Chair Jodey Arrington (R-Texas) wants to bring back the push for that policy. It quickly spurred criticism, with Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) saying: "Republicans in Congress want to cut Americans' healthcare to pay for more war in Iran. Let that sink in."
"Republicans ransacked $1 trillion from Medicaid, and then they more than doubled premiums for over 20 million Americans in order to fund tax breaks for billionaires and big corporations," Leslie Dach, chair of the advocacy group Protect Our Care, said in a statement last week. "Now, care for 15 million working Americans will be ripped away, nursing homes and hospitals are on the chopping block nationwide, and Americans are buried under skyrocketing healthcare hikes."
"But that's not enough for Republicans who have been at war with working families' healthcare for decades—now they want to slash healthcare even more to bankroll the war in the Middle East and to fund ICE, Trump's unaccountable, lawless paramilitary force," Dach continued, referring to US Immigration and Customs Enforcement. "The American people reject these Republican priorities and will make their voice known in November."
Axios reported Monday on Arrington's preferred timeline for a new budget package: "60 to 90 days," he said.
Arrington is also eyeing some potential changes to Medicare, which provides health insurance coverage to Americans age 65 and older, according to Axios:
- One, known as "site-neutral" payments, would equalize payment across hospital outpatient facilities and doctors' offices. A second would crack down on what critics say is insurance company gaming of the Medicare Advantage system through "upcoding" of patients' medical conditions.
- Arrington expressed skepticism that either would be included, saying they'd open up "a false narrative that we're cutting Medicare."
As for Medicaid, one of the programs attacked by the OBBBA, Arrington told the outlet that there is hesitancy "to open that back up," but some policies considered in 2025 could be revived.
In a Monday statement, Democratic National Committee rapid response director Kendall Witmer called out Trump and Vice President JD Vance for past and possible future GOP healthcare cuts, accusing them of breaking their campaign promises.
"Donald Trump and Republicans already made the largest cuts to healthcare in history, causing healthcare costs to skyrocket for millions of Americans while billionaires and big corporations get massive tax cuts," Witmer said. "Now, Republicans want to slash even more healthcare funding for working families to pay for their war with Iran."
"After promising on the campaign trail to stop the endless wars, reduce the national debt, and lower costs," Witmer added, "Trump and JD Vance have done the opposite: putting everyday Americans on the chopping block to wage their deadly and costly war of choice."
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