Albuquerque police, which have been dubbed the worst in the country for its long record of well-armed abuses, have come up with an innovative response to a DOJ investigation finding officers using their own personal assault rifles as "status symbols” have contributed to a "pattern and practice" of excessive force: Now, the police will buy them. The APD - which has faced widespread protests and paid millions in legal settlements to shooting victims' families but never prosecuted a cop - says it's buying 350 AR-15 assault rifles to replace the officers' because "that training shouldn't go to waste." So now, all good. Walter White, come home.

Days before its long-planned, much-hyped debut at a U.K. airshow, the entire fleet of the endless boondoggle known as the Joint Strike Fighter has been grounded after one caught fire, the latest in a years-long series of disasters almost every time it's tried to leave the ground. The plane's pricetag is now $399 billion; it's seven years behind schedule; when done, it will cost  over $1 trillion. No doubt entirely coincidentally, Lockheed has spread its jobs and contractors across the country, thus ensuring broad support in Congress. And yes, there are many cool things we could do with the money.

Channeling David Lynch, the Koch-backed Generation Opportunity - whose mission is to convince young people to opt out of the totalitarian evil that is health care - has released a darkly crackpot video invite to an upcoming "Creepy Carenival" in D.C. that, "like Obamacare itself, comes with a veneer of excitement (weirdo Uncle Sam! mandatory vasectomies!) but as soon as you begin to experience it, you realize you are being taken for a ride." WTF? The kicker: A new study shows that ads by opponents of Obamacare - who have outspent supporters 15-1 - may have increased enrollment. Nice work guys.