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Top U.S. General in Afghanistan Gives Order: Close TGI Friday's
There's no roller coaster, mirror maze or carousel with unicorns. There's no cotton candy to buy, no candied apples, and no annoying mimes trying to get out of imaginary boxes.
The most recent addition to the Kandahar boardwalk is a TGI Friday's, complete with the Americana kitsch, Rihanna videos playing on the flat screen behind the bar (which serves no alcohol), fried mozzarella sticks, and a life-size Yoda action figure with a light saber looking down on patrons from on high. But this little square of Western culture in the Taliban heartland has served for years as a rare oasis for international forces embroiled in the ongoing Afghan war.
The Kandahar boardwalk now has a Burger King, Subway sandwich shop, three cafes, several general stores, a Cold Stone Creamery, Oakley sunglasses outlet, hockey rink (thanks to the Canadians, of course), basketball court, and tiny stage where members of Bachman-Turner Overdrive (the 70s band that brought the world "Takin' Care of Business" and "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet") recently performed on a cool southern Afghanistan evening.
The most recent addition is a TGI Friday's, complete with the Americana kitsch, Rihanna videos playing on the flat screen behind the bar (which serves no alcohol), fried mozzarella sticks, and a life-size Yoda action figure with a light saber looking down on patrons from on high.
"The intent, it seems, is to create a surreal slice of Western material comfort where inhabitants can momentarily forget that they are living in one of the world's most benighted countries," Julius Cavendish recently wrote in The Independent.
Well, now's the time to say goodbye to all that.
By order of Army Gen. Stanley McChrystal, the top U.S. commander in Afghanistan, ISAF is shutting down most of these reminders of home.
"This is a war zone — not an amusement park," Command Sgt. Major Michael T. Hall recently wrote on the ISAF blog.
The decision is likely to prove unpopular with ISAF forces working and living in southern Afghanistan.
Where else will they pick up their "Taliban Hunting Club" T-shirts?
"Some will say the decision to do away with these amenities is meant only to make things harder for deployed service members, but nothing could be farther from the truth," Hall wrote. "Closing these facilities will free up much-needed storage facilities at both Bagram and Kandahar, space which is critical as 30,000 additional American and up to 7,000 international troops flow into Afghanistan over the next several months."
That's all well-and-good, but where are soldiers supposed to get their hand painted, $280 Afghanistan U.S. v. Taliban chess sets featuring (for the Americans) Bush as king, the Twin Towers as rooks, and the Statue of Liberty as the queen v. (for the Taliban/insurgents) Osama bin Laden as king, a woman in a burqa as queen and suicide bombers as bishops?
Privately, some ISAF officials say the closure is as much about perception as logistics.
Rock concerts, hockey games and Americana kitsch in the Taliban heartland might not create the impression McChrystal is trying to convey that the U.S. has no intentions of transforming Afghanistan into the U.S.
But not all is lost. The new order exempts the Green Beans coffee house, AT&T phone stores, fitness centers, some Afghan-run stalls and a few other essentials for ISAF forces.
"We have an important mission here in Afghanistan, and its one the world is watching and paying attention to," Hall wrote. "We have a responsibility to outfit our troops with everything they need to be successful. Efficiently providing troops what they need to accomplish the mission is the right thing to do."



28 Comments so far
Show AllMaybe someone finally noticed the huge disconnect between troops munching on a burger, chatting with the family at home, playing a friendly game of chess and the horrific torturing and depravity going on next door. You are exactly right - surreal to the max!
Here Here !
Support those lovely troops yeah
If there was a god she would reserve a special place next to the furnace for the Amerikan leaders.
SUPPORT THE EMPIRE SEND YOUR NEIGHBOURS KIDS
They need space for another prison.
They can can use the It's a Small Small World exibition. that sure freaked me out. Imigane having to live and sleep in there for months/years?
WHAT?!?!?!
You mean Disney's AfghaniLand is off?!?!?!?!
DAMN! And I was about to plan my next vacation there!
"Taliban Hunting" T-shirts and $280 chess sets featuring Bush and Osama as wannabe kings, replicas of the WTC and the statue of liberty, along with a couple of suicide bombers? I wonder what is used for pawns.
It's all surreal. How do you suppose the locals, whose hearts and minds we supposedly are struggling for, react to the infidels' T-shirt message?
The story within the story is that McChrystal is shutting down the visible trappings of decadent American materialism like TGI Friday's in order to prep the city of Kandahar for chapter two of the great Obama surge, the Pentagon's latest long awaited psy-ops presentation that is coming soon - summer or early fall of 2010 - to America's Af/Pak theatre of war.
It sure looks like Kandahar is about to get a major war zone makeover.
Bill from Saginaw
"I wonder what is used for pawns."
Our Children.
Amen to That!
well we certinally don't want to annoy the Paki's they have Nuc's of their own ya know.
I definitely felt ill by the time I got to the Bush as chess-piece king part. I don't want to think about the queen, but we can figure out the black knight easily enough - who makes abrupt turns in the middle of every move he takes?...
"We have an important mission here in Afghanistan,..."
No, we don't.
With all this beefing, planning, and major strikes and offensives, bla bla,,,, would it not be just a big downer for McChrystal if peace starts breaking out between the various insurgents and the Karsai government. How many hawks in the Pentagon and military economic regional strategists would that piss off:
Insurgent faction presents Afghan peace plan
http://warincontext.org/2010/03/24/insurgent-faction-presents-afghan-peace-plan/
Ah hell, they can always move the show to Somalia! Anywhere will do right?
Lucitanian -
The peace proposal from Hekmatyr's faction in Afghanistan is part of the big puzzle, along with the Pakistani ISI's recent arrest of the "moderate" Afghan Taliban leader Bardar, who had apparently been engaged in back channel negotiations with the Karzai government.
Most of the insider-expert commentary on this latter event saw it as Pakistani intelligence sabotaging the US peace talk effort, because Pakistan felt it was being cut out of the negotiating process that would determine Afghanistan's future. Two far more intriguing possibilities were raised a couple days ago in the Australian press, the first speculating that the ISI was in fact acting with the blessing of US military and US intelligence hawks - pro-surge GWOT true believers who were, in effect, undermining the diplomatic strategies of Hillary Clinton and Richard Holbrooke undertaken on behalf of the Obama administration.
If that were true, the guys whose fingerprints should be checked are Robert Gates and General McChrystal. The theory is Bardar got snatched into ISI custody to delay talks until after the upcoming big military offensive on Kandahar. You know, surge and fight first, in order to get negotiating leverage - like Nixon and Kissinger did in the early 70's, escalating the bombing of north Vietnam to "force concessions" in the secret Paris peace talks. There is a sordid history behind this rationale and reasoning process.
Equally interesting was an alternative interpretation: Bardar was "given up" and essentially betrayed by more hard line elements within the Afghan Taliban (guys like Hekmatyr) who sense time is on their side, believe they are winning, and who don't want to negotiate with either the puppet Karzai regime, nor with the infidel Americans at all, ever.
Like you say, if peace started breaking out in Afghanistan to hasten the US departure, for sure some powerful military, intelligence, and regional economic players would get pissed off. You can't tell who the players behind the scene really are, even with a scorecard.
Bill from Saginaw
Thanks Bill, that was most interesting.
Yemen would be a better front...it's closer to Iran...and more importantly...the oil.
Perhaps it makes an ideal target????
To be replaced by: TAIS(mbbuh)
Thank Allah It's Saturday (may blessings be upon him)
It's about time stuff like this happens. I don't agree with everything that McChrystal is doing, however this is an exception. I was stationed in Kandahar twice, 2004 / 2006 , and what a world of difference six months makes in between deployments. All that crap that is there is for the ISAF forces and non-combat personnel that are station at KAF. Yeah it was nice to come in from a fob and grab a greasy burger or some shitty pizza and tim hortons, but seeing that stuff just pisses of the guy in the fobs and humping his ass off in the mountain.I mean you convoy in for half a day, dodging IEDs and suicide bombers, hand out some crap along the way, then roll in to see troops(especially officers) with legs kicked up on a picnic table smoking cigars, drinking green bean smoothies, and bitching about how their slung weapons are hitting their bags with brand new PS3s and Xboxs from the PX. It was a relief to lift "actual" weights and jog a circle greater than a few hundred meters on a base were you didn't have to carry an M4 with you for fear of pop shots along the wire. Best part was having a real shower, however give me a choice and I'll keep my dusty fob sandbag weights, water bottle showers, and piss tubes over the "garrison" any day.
Nice to hear a real "on the ground" report, Thank you. I can certainly see your point.
mitshu04 -
Very interesting perspective you share with us.
Similar dynamics were in play in Vietnam. Saigon and some of the big, densely Americanized bases like Da Nang jumped and jived with all manner of back home real world creature comforts. For other duty stations, way out in the boondocks or way up the river, the whole military scene was starkly different. And you would find guys in each camp who looked up and envied, or looked down their noses, at the others.
Bill from Saginaw
The Afgani people have the choice of ether having us rebuild there nation like we did Japan. With little shops and commercialism every where, or we can leave it like Somalia.
In a state of civil war, its up to the people of Afghanistan to decide what they want
Yes, as one poster commented, the chess board thing does make one feel ill. Do any of the soldiers even reflect on who the "pawns" are if Dubya is king?
How many of these soldiers, I wonder, ever reflect upon how these wars are bankrupting the country they will come back to if they survive? They are fighting for the "non-negotiable" american way of life (tm), and I wonder how many realize that the material fantasyland that characterizes this country is about to be swept away forever by peak oil and national bankrupcy.
When they get home to a bankrupt country with no future for them or their children, I wonder how they will feel about the fact that they may end up unable to afford a night out at TGI fridays, but may well be washing dishes there for a living. If they are lucky.
Friday is the Muslim Sabbath. Could they just change the name to TGI Thursdays? Or open a Hooters with waitresses wearing burkas? (Still could sneak some ankle peeks.)
No Alcohol?
Out of Afghanistan NOW.
I guess Kandahar is where the Military and the Industrial have to split, at least for the time being. Don't want to upset those Afghanis who we are fighting for. Later, when the country is subdued, we can reunite the Military Industrial Complex in all it's glory. The bars will even be able to serve booze. Oh, yeah, I forgot--we have lost the war for 'hearts and minds' and will soon have to vacate the place, when it becomes unprofitable. I guess the ignorant peasants of Afghanistan can't substitute Yoda for Allah after all.
To provide for the COMMON DEFENSE! (U.S. Constitution) Our troops can't do that if they are several thousand miles away in foreign lands. Besides, if you want them to be abel to go to Burger King and TGI Friday's, simple enough, bring them home!
Back to providing for the common defense, reference George Washington's farewell address to the nation. Turns out those guys are still alot smarter then our present day leaders.
"We have an important mission here in Afghanistan,......", Hall wrote.
Gee, I wonder what that would be?? Care to explain Maj. Hall?
Gen McChyrstal? Anyone??
I just wish John McCain would get out his Crayolas and draw the map to where Osama been Hidin' and we could be done with the charade. ('course, OBL's been dead for a while)
"Rock concerts, hockey games and Americana kitsch in the Taliban heartland might not create the impression McChrystal is trying to convey that the U.S. has no intentions of transforming Afghanistan into the U.S."
Frankly the one and ONLY intelligent thing we CAN do is transform Afghanistan into the U.S.! How 'bout a Disney-Kandahar? Or get Hollywood to remake a few Westerns? or other-planet Science Fiction?
Build a few golf courses. Put a PGA Open on the schedule. Tennis, anyone?
Put these people to work building this stuff, toss in a few schools & hospitals and a road or two to get to these places and with the MONEY we pay these people to do this stuff, before you know it, they'll be able to support those great America Dreams like Amway,Avon and Mary Kay distributorships. Show 'em how it's REALLY done with NFL/NBA/NHL/MLB exhibition games. A little imagination here, people!
THEN! When we've got 'em sufficiantly distracted (just like REAL 'Murkins), we can build that stupid pipeline without having to worry about it being blown-up.
Military-Industrial-COMPLEX? More like Military-Industrial-PERPLEX!