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TechnoratiNice Try, Dick
Your mumbled, half-assed support of gay marriage, Mr. Cheney? Not a chance
Here's what you do get: a sidelong look of momentary disbelief, a quick glance in your direction as you sit in your puddle of sour irrelevance on the sidelines of modern culture, as the rest of the thoughtful, open-hearted human race leaves you in the embittered dust. Hey, you made your bed of nails, Dick. You get to impale yourself on it.
What, is that too harsh? Too mean-spirited? Should I be more accepting and tolerant and kind because you supposedly revealed in your recent chat with the National Press Club that you might have an actual glimmer of an extant human heart, even though everyone knows you absolutely don't? Not a chance.
You think liberals and the gay movement should somehow be grateful that you, the right's most shameful hard-line fearmonger, America's most beloved torture fanatic and destroyer of civil liberties and humanitarian rights worldwide, famed wiretapper and Halliburton war profiteer extraordinairre, that you recently reiterated your jumbled, caveat-thick "support" of basic civil rights for homosexuals? Are you joking?
It's sort of silly, isn't it? Of course, it's the same tacit, quasi-support you've muttered under your breath for the last eight years, but never actually stood up and did a single thing about because A) you didn't actually believe a single word of it, and B) were far too busy molesting the integrity of the White House, international law, the U.S. Constitition and human joy itself to really give a damn about such petty matters as the sanctity of the human heart. Hey, I get it. You were busy.
I can't decide what's more incredible, really: You actually saying, with your trademark sneer, "freedom should be for everyone," or that lightning didn't strike you dead on the spot when you said it. And let's not forget your big caveat: Freedom is only sort of for everyone; your kind of freedom is actually selective and highly discriminatory.
According to you, gay rights should be up to the states to decide. Which is a bit like saying, hey, if Alabama or Mississippi wants to hang black folk and beat up women, they should be allowed to because, you know, states have different views on who should be allowed to exist. Hey Dick. Satan called. He wants his worldview back.
Yes, I've read of few of the cute responses to your "surprising" admission. That you're now "more liberal than California." That even President Obama could take note of your profound "change of heart." That there's a small chance that your faltering words might even have an enlightening effect on the hardcore homophobes in your own party, the ones who've worked so aggressively all these years to damn gays to moral and spiritual hell. As if.
Of course, it's all just so much quaint bulls--t, isn't it, Dick? A nice shotgun blast in the face of hypocrisy? Are you snickering at all the attention your little comment earned? I bet you are. Because even a child can see it's just a big charade, a carefully timed sound-bite to keep yourself in the fading spotlight a tiny bit longer.
It's also an obvious attempt to steal a page from the liberal playbook and make Rush Limbaugh's GOP remotely more palatable to moderate America, given how even you know gay marriage is a foregone conclusion. Hey, you may be a monster, but even a monster can see the writing on the wall.
Or maybe it's the other thing, how you're only really saying anything at all about gay marriage because you have a lesbian daughter, a sad, lost woman whose existence you barely acknowledged for eight solid years despite how she herself has so calmly spit in the face of the gay rights movement by actually campaigning for you, and by never once facing down her own party's rampant homophobia, the fact that the GOP has happily discriminated against her for, well, for her entire unfortunate life.
Damn, Dick. You sure taught your daughter Mary well. Swallow your own soul, honey. Stab it to death for the sake of power and profit. Hide your true self. And for God's sake, keep your mouth shut about the civil rights crap until it's politically useful. Nice.
Ah, but maybe I have it all wrong. Maybe we on the progressive left should try to be more tolerant in this case, a bit more open-minded, give you the benefit of the doubt for once. You think?
Maybe you deserve a moment's grace, despite your astonishing list of human right abuses, corruptions, misprisions, war profiteerings and endless criminal activities that, in lesser times and in more barbaric countries, would get you hung up by your toenails and fed to giant leeches.
I know, the Buddha teaches endless kindness and compassion. Jesus teaches forgiveness and turning the other cheek. Then again, neither of them saw the look of savage bliss on your face when you hear the word "waterboarding."
But maybe you really have seen the error of your old ways, and you're moving one tiny, hobbled step toward kindness and enlightenment. Hey, anything's possible. Maybe you really have had a change of heart.
Oh my God. Did I just write that sentence out loud? I'm so sorry. Let's both look to the sky, shall we? Because I'm still waiting for that lightning.
12 Comments so far
Show AllOh, let him back gay marriage.
Prosecute him, but let him espouse any idea he wishes or anyone who'll have him. I do hope the guilt-by-association does nothing to tarnish the gays, though. First AIDS and now this. Yeesh.
"Maybe you really have had a change of heart."
Cheney could not possibly be alive today after five or six heart attacks if he hadn't already had at least one or two "changes of heart" already, most likely while he was in those undisclosed locations for so many weeks at a time.
It is impossible to really know what is going on behind the scenes in politics infested Washington. When people speak as if they know and understand the agenda behind the agenda that is put forth, I find it so difficult to believe that anyone actually knows anything. All we have is the deeds and actions people have done. People should just stop listening and start looking. That old saying .."action speaks louder than words", is really true. In Cheney's case or Obama, look at their actions and don't listen to their words. If we get healthcare and Gitmo is closed and education gets more money and our economy starts to improve, then we know what is in Obama's heart. If nothing changes, we know that too. What good has Cheney done for everyone? What are his deeds? That is how a person is defined. So my advice is to stop listening to all the political BS that comes out of their mouths and keep a vigilant eye on their actions. Good luck to all of us in keeping America free, after all, that is our job. The rich and powerful need to be kept in check by us, if we are asleep, we are all lost to dictatorship and oppression until we wake up and fight it again.
Sp why did San Francisco elect Madam Pelosi for another term when it could have elected Cindy Sheehan?
The vote was strictly practical. Pelousy, as Speaker of the House, ships enormous amounts of cash to San Francisco. In today's utterly debased political climate it's no surprise, especially when you consider the dire financial condition of the state of Kollyfornya. There was also a vote to rename the city's sewage plant after George Wanker Bush, a move that would have cost the City a few dollars at best. It failed.
Contrary to it's image, SF is very stylish and "liberal", it just isn't that "progressive". Morford is the poster boy for this type of SF hipster. Remember his "Obama is a Lightworker" column? Very "liberal".
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2008/06/06/notes060608.DTL
Why just this weekend Yerba Buena is hosting Israel in the Gardens! How "progressive" is that?
http://www.sfjcf.org/gardens/2009/
They also elected Gavin (snort!) (hair gel) Newsom over Matt Gonzalez.
Both Sheehan and Gonzalez were massively outspent by their opponents thank to the DNC.
Sheehan's campaign office was even vandalized multiple times.
But man, did SF ever fall in love (lust actually) with Obama. I doubt they'll realize they fell for Bush's doppelganger until @2011, at which point they'll be more concerned with defeating his Republican challenger than anything else.
I really like that Cheney came out for gay marriage.
I'm fully support gay marriage. Although, ironically, I don't like the idea of state marriages (but I do see the practicality of the rights they afford to couples).
For anyone who protests the war AND gay marriage - I have no problem with you. That's how it should be done.
But I have met many people for whom this is the most important issue for them or the only issue for them.
When CA ruled against gay marriage, I saw protests everywhere I went.
It's been a long time since I've seen people turn up in those numbers to protest the wars, spying, torture, or the shredding of the Constitution.
Maybe having Cheney on their side will force them to prioritize.
Cheney is not running for the presidency. He is not frightened or even a bit concerned about being prosecuted for his Sears catalog of crimes under U.S. and international law. He and his cronies made (and continue to make) their money out of Iraq and Afghanistan. No, Cheney, like his Charlie McCarthy, George Wanker Bush, believed Karl Rove wholeheartedly. They thought they would rule into the unimaginable future. Now that it didn't happen, his crippled ego can't take the stress of his own failure. And so, like a nasty, delinquent child, he takes his bucket of liquid shit and scrawls insults on the White House. Hardboiled political types like Obysmal, Biden and Top Ramen Emanuel could care less. This kind of thing is just part and parcel of the verbal assassination that is politics. The Cheesedick is 67 years old; his heart is as bad as The Washington Nationals. Under the Stalinesque exterior is a sick, frightened, powerless man waiting for his final heart attack that will put him six feet under where there is no power, no political corruption, no ass kicking and no money. As difficult as it is to believe, he's scared shitless.
The name of my new band is "Die, Cheney, Die". Kind of in the same vein as "The Dead Kennedys". Die. Cheney. Die. Just die. You bastard.
I get the feeling Cheney is still in power. He's playing the bad cop, which makes Obama, the good cop, seem rational to the average American idiot. He's really implementing the same policies for the same masters though.
Interesting.
Cheney was greasing the wheels for torture well in advance of having any prisoners because torture was known to be a reliable way of producing what Cheney refers to as "actionable intelligence."
Of course, "actionable intelligence" need not have been true or even remotely accurate as long as it was useful for Cheney’s purposes. Torture (especially repetitive torture) was uniquely suited to fabricating "actionable intelligence" as Cheney’s victims eventually learned to create whatever sort of details the Torturer in Chief sought (such as a link between 9/11 and Iraq).