In a perfect, ghastly metaphor for the state of our "democracy," J.D. and Drunken Pete just oversaw an "artillery fiasco" at a Marine Corps celebration where a live shell detonated over a highway and hit their motorcade - Lesson #1: "Morons Are Governing America" - and Trump abruptly began a demolition of the East Wing of The People's House for "his fucking ballroom," though he claimed construction "wouldn't interfere" with it. Lesson #2: They "lie like they breathe," bulldoze history and wreak havoc as they go.
On the same day as No Kings but definitely not to distract anyone even though the actual date they're marking isn't until November 10, repulsive bros J.D. Vance and manly "We Are The War Department" Pete Hegseth went to California for the 250th anniversary of the Marine Corps at Camp Pendleton to watch a training exercise that included firing live 155mm M777 shells out of howitzers from the ocean over Interstate I-5, an action Gavin Newsom decried as "an absurd show of force" that threatened public safety. Just in case, being a grown-up, Newsom shut down 17 miles of the highway. Vance, in turn, ridiculed his move as "consistent with a track record of failure," sneering the governor "wants people to think this exercise is dangerous" when of course it's "an established safe practice" and anyway he's a big boy who knows stuff.
So. What happens "when the commander-in-chief is an idiot and the head of the Pentagon is a blackout drunk?" In Chap. 874 of Adventures of the Gang Who Couldn't Shoot Straight But Still Hit Enough, after Marines began firing live rounds over the highway, one shell prematurely exploded - some "saw the artillery round fail to clear the highway and explode near the southbound lane" - raining burning shrapnel onto a Highway Patrol car and motorcycle in Vance's security detail in what officials called "an unusual and concerning situation" that surely nobody could have predicted. Except maybe Gavin Newsom, who I-told-you-so raged, "Next time, the Vice President and the White House shouldn’t be so reckless (with) their vanity projects (and) put lives at risk to put on a show. If you want to honor our troops, open the government and pay them."
Vance, who's evidently hated wherever he goes - his family's summer vacation in the English countryside was met by residents holding a "Dance Against Vance Not Welcome" party complete with Go Away banner, insults, memes, and a staff mutiny at a pub where he wanted to eat - told reporters he had "a great visit" with the Marines. His team declined to comment on his "artillery fiasco," but others had thoughts. They suggested he'd probably say "it was just kid pieces of shrapnel doing normal kid pieces of shrapnel stuff," or locker room shrapnel, or antifa, thus representing the most destruction seen on No Kings Day. Also, "Nothing says 'Warrior Ethos' like firing live ammunition across a busy Southern California freeway on a Saturday afternoon," "MAGA stands for Morons Are Governing America," and, "This is a whole new level of dipshitery."
Then, on Monday, came Trump's backhoes and destruction crews suddenly, methodically ripping through the historic, stately, 1902 East Wing of the White House to build a garish $250 million, "beautiful, beautiful ballroom like I have at Mar-a-Lago" - "the remodel no one asked for" - despite his earlier adamant claim the project "wouldn’t interfere” with the former structure: "It’ll be near it but not touching it (and) pay total respect to the existing building, which I’m the biggest fan of...It’s my favorite place. I love it." Shockingly, he evidently lied. Announcing the boondoggle in July, he also said it would be 90,000 square feet and seat up to 650 people - now grown to 999 people - making it the largest room in the White House. And it will ostensibly be funded by "many generous patriots" who also happen to be billionaires seeking deregulation and access to his gilded power.
Trump claims America's masses have long been yearning for a glitzy ballroom - it took so long because "there’s never been a president that was good at ballrooms" - and he is "honored to finally get this much-needed project underway," especially now during a government shutdown, when wealth and income inequality is at a record highs, SNAP benefits are being slashed, millions of people are struggling to buy groceries, health care and Medicaid are threatened, special ed and veterans' services are in jeopardy, farmers and small businesses are suffering, federal workers are either losing their jobs or not getting paid, he is sending billions to Argentina for no discernible reason and he is giddily spending millions on golf and new jets and fake gold slathered feckin' everywhere while demanding his let-them-eat-cake cult members keep tightening their gullible belts.
Architects have noted the fortuitous timing: The White House is a public property run by the National Park Service, but this carnage is purportedly exempt from review by multiple planning and preservation bodies Trump has dismissed, rendered toothless or effectively disappeared in the shutdown. "This is by design," said one. “The object of power is power." Whose very public abuse, in this instance, prompted cries of WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? Many Americans watched in horror as an iconic White House built by slaves - where Nancy Reagan's new china, Jimmy Carter's solar panels, Obama's dog once quaintly sparked outrage - was blithely razed and pillaged. Joe Walsh called it "an utter desecration of the Peoples’ House," adding he'd gladly invite patriots, some weekend, "to bring their own sledgehammers & crowbars to help tear that abomination down."
The Bulwark's Mona Charen has called Trump "a walking wrecking ball of law, tradition, civility, manners, and morals." His tacky paved Rose Garden, fake-gold-drenched Oval Office, many crimes against good taste and now ballroom reflect "a low and shameful time" of transforming the graceful into the sordid (that) "will be both awful and fitting." Now, the metaphorical has become literal in a defacement one historian calls "like slashing a Rembrandt painting.” "This is Trump's America," said one patriot of the dusty devastation. "And that was our history." Many felt sickened by the grisly manifestation "of the entire Trump administration": "It is not his fucking house," "Holy mother of God, this is horrifying," "Jesus fucking Christ, somebody stop him," "That was our democracy." "Breaking News: Antifa destroys the White House," said one. "Correction: It was Trump."
Update: Aceco, the company doing the demolition, is being savaged on Yelp with a flood of one-star reviews for "taking one of the most sacrilegious dem jobs in American history." "We all make choices in this life," read one, "and this was a bad one." Others: "How dare you destroy part of OUR house for that pedo dictator?", "Oops. Bad move tearing down the People's House. And you probably won't get paid," and, "May karma prevail."
Updated update for a surreal timeline: Wednesday night, the mad king said, Ok, fuck it, we'll just take down the whole thing: "We determined that, after really a tremendous amount of (non-existent) study with some of the best (imaginary) architects in the world, we determined that really knocking it down, trying to use a little section — you know, the East Wing, was not much.”
