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Staircase to Nowhere: MAGA's Crowning Achievement
In a perhaps unprecedented dark time for America and the world, let us take solace in our indomitable Dear Stable Genius, who remains unwaveringly focused on taking care of shiny business: Gold social security cards like Elvis, a $400 million, lopsided shed/ballroom with gaudy columns but no main entrance, and of course gold toilets - which all keeps him so busy he hardly has time to threaten Iran with war crimes. What a time to be alive, barely.
In actual good news, No Kings Day 3.0 drew between 8 and 12 million people, thus hovering tantalizingly close to the 3.5% of a nation's populace historically required to overthrow an authoritarian regime. So good work, patriots. The over 3,000 protests, aka per Mike Johnson "Hate America rallies," ranged from Alaska's Utqiaġvik, the country's northernmost city (7 people) to Ele'ele, Kaua'i, the westernmost, from over 100,000 in New York City to nine stalwarts on Maine's Monhegan Island. Thousands of Trump's neighbors in Palm Beach turned out, ending with a twilight march to Mar-A-Lago, or as close as they could get.
Their signs were brutal: "Elect A Rapist, Expect To Get Fucked. How Many Deaths For the Epstein War? Worst President Since Trump. Criminals Belong Behind Bars, Free Balls for Members of Congress Who Lost Them, Trump Rapes Kids, Impeach Pedolf Shitler, Putin's Bitch, The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived. According to The Borowitz Report, Trump, furious about the large protests, argued they'd be much smaller if you subtract all Elon Musk's kids there because they hate him: "People are saying their number (was) much higher than 400, thousands, maybe millions. You take away Elon’s kids and almost no one was there."
There were also "half-dozens to dozens of Americans" at One King co unter-protests, reports The Fucking News, who put the number at "many-ish...Organizers say there were barely any organizers," with attendees ranging from "a tiny number of young people to a die-hard faction of dying people." In Palm Beach, one man carried a heavy sign that read, "Deport the white liberals"; masked to protect himself "against the vindictive left," he said he left soon after he was "attacked" by a woman who denied touching him; her comrades said the guy just dropped his sign "because he was too weak to carry it."
Their small numbers did face competition from "the incredible shrinking CPAC," also meeting that day in Grapevine, Texas with a turnout of "barely thousands." Once a MAGA "center of political gravity," this year's event drew neither Trumps nor presidential candidates. One possible ick factor: MC was (still) CPAC chair Matt Schlapp, who in 2024 settled a pricey sexual misconduct lawsuit from a guy working on Hershel Walker’s (LOL) Senate campaign, who charged Schlapp groped him. The event did boast Todd Chrisley, a reality TV star doing 12 years in prison for massive fraud till Trump pardoned him. Here’s his welcome.
There was also a big contingent of South Korean “stop the steal” activists and supporters of former president Yoon Suk Yeol, impeached last year and now serving life in prison for insurrection. Still, the whole thing was a bit of a slog. Organizers tried to jazz up session subjects - a panel titled "Fraud" became “Ilhan Omar ‘Family’ Values"; Mercedes Schlapp beseeched factions not to "divide from within," which is how you divide; and when Schlapp asked them, the clueless CPAC "crowdette" mistakenly, hilariously cheered the prospect of impeachment proceedings by what could be a newly-Democratic-controlled House. SAD!
- YouTube www.youtube.com
Poor deplorable MAGA. Maybe they're disheartened by Trump's well-deserved plunging approval rating, now at barely 33%. Maybe it's because their regime is such a half-assed shitshow and their people are such self-serving, hypocritical dickwads. As in: Amidst a government shutdown that's seen TSA agents (starting salary $34,454) compelled to work without pay as Congress takes a two-week recess (pay over $170,000) on the taxpayers' dime, TMZ urged readers to send in photos of vacationing pols, and here comes Lindsey Graham at Disney World, “The Most Magical Place On Earth," gaily twirling a Little Mermaid bubble wand yet. America and Megyn Kelly: WTF.
Or maybe it's because Commander-In-Chief Private Bonespurs started another forever quagmire without legal or political justification, and it turns out wars in the Middle East are hard and complex and above his pay grade - like health care! - to solve, and now with no good options he's spewing up only staggering incoherence for strategy, like hailing "great progress" in imaginary "serious discussions" while pivoting to rabidly threatening to "conclude our lovely 'stay’ in Iran" by "obliterating" their civilian infrastructure, electricity, energy and drinking water, which is a war crime. But talks are going “unbelievably well."
Serious discussions with IranImage from Australia's The Shovel
Anyway, his true passion is turning every crass, stupid thing he or Elvis can think of fake gold like the Oval bordello and even Social Security cards, and slathering his repulsive name on structures, coins, currency, and building trashy, illegal monuments to himself like an obscene, unapproved, un-permitted, $400 million ballroom twice the size of the White House, because, "They’ve always wanted a ballroom," except now it's suddenly, "essentially a shed for what goes under it," a massive military complex, presumably a bunker where, as merciful history would have it, he'll finally free us of him, "and we're doing it very well."
He's so ballroom-enraptured that on Air Force One he just pulled out a swath of drawings to show reporters, explaining, "I thought I’d do this now because it’s easier. I’m so busy...fighting wars and other things." Quick mindless pivot to "hand-carved, beautiful, Corinthian columns" - "Corinthian wut" - he's also reportedly re-imagining for the White House facade, a change deemed "at odds with universally held historic preservation standards." Same, experts say of "barely scrutinized" ballroom plans, "riddled with design flaws" - disproportionate, pillars block windows, grand staircase to nowhere. WH lackey on "the best builder in the world": "The American people can rest well knowing this project is in his hands.” We feel better already.
Trump's "plan" for his oversized shed/ballroomImages from New York Times
And then there's his new gold toilet, mounted on a 10-foot throne near the Lincoln Memorial. The new masterwork of Secret Handshake (Best Friends Forever), it celebrates the renovation of the White House Lincoln Bedroom bathroom, all in gold, and "what this President has actually accomplished." The toilet's plaque reads, “In a time of unprecedented division, escalating conflict, and economic turmoil, President Trump focused on what truly mattered: remodeling the Lincoln Bathroom....This, his crowning achievement, is a bold reminder that (he) isn’t just a businessman, he’s taking care of business. It stands as a tribute to an unwavering visionary who looked down, saw a problem, and painted it gold.”
A Throne Fit For a King. Photo from Secret Handshake
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Top 1% to Get $117 Billion in Trump Tax Cuts This Year as Bottom 95% Pay More
The bottom 95% of Americans will generally see higher taxes, according to report author Michael Ettlinger, a senior fellow at ITEP and the University of New Hampshire's Carsey School of Public Policy. The middle 60% will see an average increase of $900—though that estimate tops $1,000 for taxpayers in Alaska, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Nebraska, North Carolina, South Dakota, Texas, Utah, Vermont, and Wyoming.
The primary drivers of tax hikes for working people are Trump's tariffs—which his administration continues to pursue despite a major setback at the US Supreme Court—and the so-called One Big Beautiful Bill Act (OBBBA), the budget reconciliation package that congressional Republicans passed and the president signed last summer.
The OBBBA slashed programs for the working class, including food assistance and Medicaid, and failed to extend Affordable Care Act premium tax credits that helped people afford health insurance. The Republican package is also expected to give the wealthiest 1% of Americans $1 trillion in tax cuts while adding $4.6 trillion to the federal deficit over the next decade.
This year alone, "the highest-income 20% get a $380 billion tax cut, with $117 billion going to the richest 1% alone," Ettlinger detailed. "To put the $117 billion going to the top 1% in 2026 in perspective, it is more than the federal government will spend in 2026 on the combined budgets of the Department of Education, Department of Transportation, Department of Justice, the State Department, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration, the Environmental Protection Agency, the National Endowment for the Humanities, and the National Endowment for the Arts."
"Or, put in another context, that $117 billion could buy every Major League Baseball team (all of them together) or pay for the combined cost of every wedding in the country for a year, as we described in July, along with other comparisons," he added.
(Image by Institute on Taxation and Economic Policy)
Ettlinger pointed out that "the wealthiest have also saved many billions with the elimination of more than $40 billion over 10 years in IRS tax enforcement funding that was aimed specifically at cracking down on tax evasion by the wealthy. The Trump administration has also, administratively, strangled IRS enforcement initiatives targeted at high-wealth tax sheltering."
The expert also noted that the "OBBBA included large tax cuts for corporations, and the administration has added on to the benefits of these tax cuts with legally doubtful regulatory changes." For example, some major companies had an effective federal income tax rate of 0% in 2025, including Chenier Energy, LiveNation, Peter Thiel's Palantir, Elon Musk's Tesla, and Yum! Brands, whose subsidiaries include the fast food chains KFC, Pizza Hut, and Taco Bell.
Jeff Bezos' Amazon had an effective tax rate of 1.4%. For Meta, the parent company of Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp, it was 3.6%. Alphabet, the company behind Google, had an 8% rate. Ettlinger stressed that "these companies' ultralow tax bills are just the tip of the iceberg of what has been done to business taxes in the first year of President Trump's second term. From OBBBA alone, corporations and other businesses will pay $234 billion less in 2026 and $1.7 trillion less over 10 years."
It's not just rich Americans who are benefiting from Trump and his party's policies. As Ettlinger explained: "A total of $32 billion in tax savings from OBBBA will go offshore in 2026. Many foreign shareholders are likely to end up paying zero US corporate tax despite benefiting from the US economy and the role of the government in sustaining it."
The report concludes with a warning: "Unfortunately, it could get worse. The administration is being heavily lobbied to add to its unlawful regulatory record by indexing capital gains for inflation—which would be a benefit hugely skewed to the wealthy. In addition, the congressional Republican Study Committee has a tax plan that would, likewise, be of substantial benefit to those with the highest income and wealth."
Early last month, Sens. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) and Tim Scott (R-SC) sent a letter urging Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent to make the change to federal tax on capital gains, or the profits from selling investments, including bonds, real estate, and stocks.
"Ted Cruz is asking the Treasury Department to break the law to give another round of tax breaks to the ultrarich," Senate Finance Committee Ranking Member Ron Wyden (D-Ore.) responded at the time. "These guys can’t help themselves."
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