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Ranting Again

Abby Zimet


Stupid Is As Stupid Does Dept: A year after the deadly fact, the U.S. continues to see almost 75,000 new COVID cases a day, with a total of over 31 million cases, over 565,000 deaths, and estimated new cases as high as 850,000 by May - the world's most disastrous pandemic response. Only Brazil's current "humanitarian catastrophe" comes close (but second), for the same reasons: The far-right Jair Bolsonaro's refusal to follow science-based guidelines in the face of what he's doggedly dismissed as "a little flu" in a country that now boasts over a quarter of all global COVID deaths. In America, that top-down fatal stupidity has been aided and abetted by moronic former guy acolytes like Rand 'Throw your mask away' Paul, Cancun 'No more mask and I don't care what the CDC says' Cruz, and Ohio's Gym 'I'm gonna keep yelling at people until they stop asking me about the 177 cases of sexual abuse I pointedly overlooked' Jordan, who all continue to deflect, distort and dispute established science on COVID under the GOP's unholy mantra of, "I'm fine so fuck the rest of you." In the latest performative theatrics aimed at obscuring the fact they can only obstruct, but not govern, a furiously mask-averse Jordan spent this week's House hearing on COVID screeching at Dr. Anthony Fauci about "freedom" and "the Constitution" and how long this is taking, evidently having forgotten it was his fuhrer's murderous incompetence that got us here in a ravaged land of masks and distancing. "We had 15 days to slow the spread, which turned into a year of lost liberty," he raged. "Give me a number! When is the time Americans get their freedom back?!" - an ill-advised question, given the over half-million Americans who, being dead, permanently lost their freedom.

Noting he should have been so angry last year when people started dying, many had their own questions to ask of an ignorant, abrasive putz who cheered the Capitol riot, went to law school but didn't pass the bar, is under investigation for illegal fundraising in a flagrantly gerrymandered district, and for years as an assistant Ohio State wrestling coach allegedly ignored and covered up a team doctor's sexual assault of up to 2,000 student athletes, which probably didn't leave him much time for infectious disease courses. Some queries: "Why are you in Congress, not jail? When will you learn to use your indoor voice, do something useful, and not yell belligerently while doing it? When will you be held accountable for the Jan. 6 riot? Why are all the people whining about liberty the same complexion? How many college athletes being sexually molested does it take for Gym Jordan to give a fuck?" Meanwhile, he kept loudly, frantically harassing the estimable Fauci - "I get to ask the questions" - in a spectacle akin to "putting a lobotomized mouse up against a full-grown cat, all due respect to lobotomized mice." Shrieking Gym: "You don't think Americans' liberties have been assaulted this year, Dr. Fauci?! Two years from now will we be wearing masks?!" Muted Fauci: "You're ranting again." Gym, louder: "I'm  not ranting!" Fauci, even quieter: "Yes, you are." After one more onslaught - "When do Americans get their freedom back?!" - Fauci studiously shut him down: "I don't look at this as a freedom thing, Congressman Jordan. I look at this as a public health thing." As he flailed and shouted past his time, he was finally quashed by Maxine Waters, who is grateful to Fauci but famously impatient with louts and morons: "Congressman Jordan, you need to respect the chair and shut your mouth." Amen, auntie.

Abby Zimet

Abby Zimet

Abby has written CD's Further column since 2008. A longtime, award-winning journalist, she moved to the Maine woods in the early 70s, where she spent a dozen years building a house, hauling water and writing before moving to Portland. Having come of political age during the Vietnam War, she has long been involved in women's, labor, anti-war, social justice and refugee rights issues. 

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