A Texas lawmaker on Friday took a legislative jab at the state's anti-choice laws, filing satirical legislation that would slap a fine on men for masturbating and make those who want a vasectomy, colonoscopy, or a Viagra prescription undergo "a medically-unnecessary digital rectal exam."
Proposed by state Rep. Jessica Farrar (D), HB 4260 (pdf) or "A Man's Right to Know" aims to "promote men's health" and would require the Department of State Health Services to make and distribute informational materials that lay out the rules in a booklet that mirrors A Woman's Right to Know, referring to the misleading, state-mandated booklet for pregnant women.
HB 4260 would prohibit lawsuits against doctors or healthcare providers who refuse to perform a vasectomy, prescribe Viagra, or perform a colonoscopy "due to their personal, moralistic, or religious beliefs."
The performance of those procedures or the prescribing of Viagra could only take place after 24 hours since the initial healthcare consultation during which "[a]n attending physician must administer a medically-unnecessary digital rectal exam and magnetic resonance imagining of the rectum."
In addition, it states: "Masturbatory emissions created in health or medical facilities will be stored for the purposes of conception for a current or future wife." Masturbation outside of those facilities or outside a vagina would result in a $100 dollar fine and "be considered an act against an unborn child, and failing to preserve the sanctity of life."
It calls for the establishment of a "Hospital Masturbatory Assistance Registry" for organizations and hospitals that "provide fully-abstinent encouragement counseling."
If the requirements ring a bell, the Dallas Morning News writes, it's because Farrar's "bill is a satirical version of a Texas law passed in 2011 that requires women to have a sonogram and hear a detailed description of the fetus before getting an abortion."
Of her proposal, Farrar wrote on her Facebook page Saturday: "Although HB 4260 is satirical, there is nothing funny about current healthcare restrictions for women and the very real legislation that is proposed every legislative session. Women are not laughing at state-imposed regulations and obstacles that interfere with their ability to legally access safe healthcare, and subject them to fake science and medically unnecessary procedures. Texans deserve to be treated with the same amount of respect when making healthcare decisions, regardless of their gender."