Bush's Friend Barack

After nearly two years out, I can imagine George W. Bush writing his successor the following letter:

Dear President Obama:

As you know I've been peddling my book Decision Points and
while doing interviews, people ask me what I think of the job you're
doing. My answer is the same: He deserves to make decisions without
criticism from me. It's a tough enough job as it is.

But their inquiries did prompt me to write you to privately express my
continual admiration for the job you are doing. Amazing! I say
"privately" because making my sentiments public would not do either of
us any good, if you know what I mean.

First, I can scarcely believe my good fortune as to how your foreign and
military policies-"continuity" was the word used recently by my good
friend, Joe Lieberman-has protected my legacy. More than protected,
you've proven yourself just as able-and I may say sometimes even more
so-to "kick ass" as my Daddy used to say.

My pleasant surprise is darn near limitless. Your Justice Department has
not pursued any actions against my people-not to mention Dick Cheney
and I-that the civil liberties and human rights crowd keep baying for
you to do.

Overseas, all I see are five stars. You are roaring in Afghanistan,
dispatching our great special forces into Yemen, saying, like me, that
you'll go anywhere in the world to kill those terrorists. When you said
you would assassinate American citizens abroad suspected of
"terrorism"-that news came over the radio during breakfast when I was
eating my shredded wheat and I almost choked with amazement. You got
cajones, buddy. I was hesitant about crossing the border into
Pakistan-but you, man, are blasting away. Even Dick, who would never say
it publically, told me he is impressed.

The Leftists are always trying to have your policies show me up
negatively. Hah-they're having one hell of a tough time, aren't they?

Me state secrets, you state secrets. Me executive privilege, you
executive privilege. Me stop the release of torture videos, you backed
me up. Me indefinite detention, you indefinite detention. Me
extraordinary rendition; you extraordinary rendition. Me sending drones,
you sending tons more, flying 24/7. Me just had to look the other way
on collateral damage, you doing the same and protecting our boys doing
it. Me approving night time assassination raids, you're upping the ante
especially since General Petraeus took over. Me beefing up Defense, you
not skipping a beat. Me letting the CIA loose, you told them operate at
large. Me demanding no pictures of our fallen troops, you doing the
same, but allowing the families to go to Dover which I should have done.

There is one big difference. I never cracked a law book. You are a top
Harvard lawyer and teacher of constitutional law. So when you do what I
did, man, it's-what's the word-legitimization!

Domestically, sure you rag Wall Street, but you continued the big bail
out of the bankers and their supporting cast. Sure, you're tougher with
your words, but they deserve it-remember I said that the Wall Streeters
"got drunk" and "got a hangover".

What I get such a kick out of is how you handled the unions and libs who
backed you with dreams of Hope and Change. How smoothly you let them
learn they got nowhere to go, just as we used to tell our conservative
wing the same thing (though now they've been reborn as growling Tea
Partiers). So, cardcheck, single payer, rolling back my Party's passage
of legislation in Congress-you made them forget it!

You have been such a great president-backing me on so many
things-keeping most tax cuts and shelters, support for my oil and gas
buddies (my base), big loan guarantees for nukes, keeping Uncle Sam from
bargaining down pharma, expanding free trade, not going tough on China
(my Daddy especially liked this one), avoiding class struggle rhetoric
and so on.

You want to know how confident I am about you? Even though you called
waterboarding "torture," I proudly admitted approving its use to protect
our country and its freedoms. Isn't that really what the Presidency is
all about, along with honoring our troops and the entire national
defense efforts?

Semper fi-

George W. Bush

P.S. My mother Barbara is a big fan. She calls your term so far Obamabush. Cute, aye, for someone who was never a wordsmith.