"Billionaires Against Regulating Finance" to Face Off with Protesters in Boston's Financial District

In
response to the so-called "March Against a Jobless Recovery" planned
for Thursday, October 1, 2009, the Billionaires Against Regulating
Finance (BARF), an activist group for the wealthy and the corporate
elite, will protest the march in full suit and gown at Bank of America
in Boston's financial district between 4:30 and 5:30 pm.

According to the event organizers, "The federal government gave
hundreds of billions of taxpayer dollars to bail out big businesses,
but corporations, in turn, are not creating the jobs that were
promised."

BARF members strongly oppose the claim of a "jobless recovery."
Stockson Bond, board chairman of investment banking firm, Goldin Racks,
remarked, "Of course jobs have been created. Have you seen the number
of foreclosed homes in the US? There must be hundreds, maybe even
thousands, of people needed to print and post foreclosure yard signs.
And don't forget about career counseling. That field must be booming
with the unemployment rate hovering at 10 percent!"

Gree D. Ciyo, chief executive of Smells Fargo, noted, "To the extent
that job creation is slower than preferred by the marchers, BARF's
message is clear: Stop Whining! The fact is, we couldn't possibly
create millions of jobs AND get our huge, hard-earned bonuses. Keeping
our top talent is number one. It's all about priorities."

The Billionaires are prepared to defend corporate executives against
the marchers' unfair claim that a recovery for Wall Street does not
equate to a recovery for Main Street. Beau Ness, Vice President of
Banking on America, fumed, "I resent the idea that these people don't
consider Wall Street a part of Main Street. Complex derivatives and
credit default swaps are as vital to average Americans and the economy
as the neighborhood grocery or hardware store!"

BARF commends Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner's recent action at
the G-20 summit in Pittsburgh, where he rejected French President
Nicolas "May-As-Well-Be-Communist" Sarkozy's outrageous proposal to
place hard caps on financial executives' compensation. A triumphant Mr.
Bastid crowed, "Earlier this year, Tim talked tough to the American
people about our taxpayer-funded bonuses. But we knew that when the
rubber hit the road, he'd be with us 100 percent. It feels great to see
our political 'investments' paying off."