"Hey! That's Not What I Didn't Mean": On What Trump Said in Helsinki

Like many of you, I was surprised to learn that President Trump's disastrous press conference in Helsinki earlier this week was all a misunderstanding! It turns out that the President left out one, single (albeit crucial) word: "not." What a close call!

Actually, it turns out that this happens all the time. Many famous lines--from politics, film and literature--are, in fact, misquotes. Here are just a few examples. Hopefully this will begin to set the record straight.

Just a few examples of things that have been mis-uttered, misstated, misheard, and/or mis-reported...

Richard Nixon: "Actually, I am a crook"

Darth Vader: "Luke, I am not your father."

George Washington: "I lied."

Bill Clinton: "I did have sexual relations with that woman ..."

Molly Bloom: "...no I said no I won't no."

The Terminator: "I'm afraid this is goodbye. I don't expect I'll be back."

Travis Bickle: "Oh! I thought you were looking at me. My bad!"

Louis XIV: "L'etat? Ce n'est pas moi!"

Lady Macbeth: "Spotless!"

Bob Dylan: "The more things change, the more they stay the same."

Karl Marx: "Workers of the world ... It is what it is!"

Franz Kafka: "As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he was relieved to find that it was no more than an uneasy dream! Today would be a day like any other."

Inigo Montoya: "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. But that was a long time ago. We're good!"

Joan Crawford: "I prefer wire hangers."

Cuba Gooding Jr: "It's not about the money."

Roberto Duran II: "Mas!"

Rhett Butler: "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn about anything but your needs, hopes and dreams - however narcissistic they be!"

Shoeless Joe Jackson: "If you build it, will they come? I'm going to be frank. There is no way people are going to come to the middle of f-cking Iowa just to see a baseball field."

Greta Garbo: "I could use some company."

Mick Jagger: "I am fully satisfied."

George W. Bush: "I'm The Decider... Not! Cheney is The Decider!"

Dorothy Gale: "Toto -- it turns out we're still in Kansas."

M.C. Hammer: "If you want to touch it, that's fine."

Oliver Twist: "Sir, I am totally full!"

Lloyd Benson: "You remind me of Jack Kennedy."

Neil Armstrong: "One small step for a man. And one giant scam perpetrated on Mankind. (I'm actually in Nevada!!!)"

Ronald Reagan: "Among the 16 scariest words in the English Language: 'I've been recommended by the Federalist Society and I'll be the next US Supreme Court Justice.'"

Donald Trump: "I'm the least racist person anyone is ever going to meet." (No correction here. He really said this -- more than once. We double checked.)

A few additional clarifications. It turns out that...

(1) Bob Marley did not shoot the sheriff.

(2) John F. Kennedy was/is not a "Berliner."

(3) The British band Queen is not the "champions of the world."

(4) Todd Rundgren is a workaholic - he has never "banged on the drum all day."

(5) In a recent interview, Paul McCartney acknowledged that while love is very, very important, it is not all you need.

(6) Bill Clinton actually did not feel your pain.