SUBSCRIBE TO OUR FREE NEWSLETTER
Daily news & progressive opinion—funded by the people, not the corporations—delivered straight to your inbox.
5
#000000
#FFFFFF
To donate by check, phone, or other method, see our More Ways to Give page.
Daily news & progressive opinion—funded by the people, not the corporations—delivered straight to your inbox.
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
--Matthew 7:3
Public employees, as we all know, are parasites who should be punished. This is why we have not given them a general salary increase in several years.
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
--Matthew 7:3
Public employees, as we all know, are parasites who should be punished. This is why we have not given them a general salary increase in several years.
This year, besides effectively cutting their pay further by requiring a pension contribution, Gov. Rick Scott also has ordered state employees to undergo drug testing no matter whether there is any reason to suspect drug use, nor whether they are in a job where it actually makes sense.
Not only do I heartily endorse this practice, but I would go further:
I would beat them, too.
That's right. All public employees should line up in front of their workplace once a month to be beaten by the Decent People.
During these ministrations the Decent People should remind the public employees of why they are being beaten; namely, that they are lazy bureaucrats by definition.
In some cases we will have to rotate the beatings. It seems impractical to pull out all the prison guards, or take all the Florida Highway Patrol troopers off the road, all at once.
On the other hand, I think we can beat schoolteachers twice a month, wholesale, just on general principle. This can easily be worked into the schedule of the public-school system, as they are not doing anything most of the time.
You might worry whether we can find enough Decent People for the job. I do not think that will be a problem. Decent People are plentiful on the Internet; I know this because they constantly are explaining to me what is wrong with everybody else.
Public employees are not the only suspicious group. The governor just signed a new law requiring Floridians on public assistance to undergo drug testing as well. (Perhaps they will be flattered to be treated just like public employees.)
Decent People also support this law, at least, the ones in the ever-present reader comments on our website, such as this real-life example:
"Love this now they will have to sell the 20k in tires and rims on there [sic] cars or some of the bling bling."
Because, you know, there is nobody getting help who deserves it, or because of the economy, or because he or she was foreclosed upon. Neither has anyone taken this assistance as a last resort.
I would be remiss by not including the largest group of Suspicious People of all, namely, Floridians who
Move.
Decent People do not move.
Renters, college students and the poor tend to move more often, and therefore can rightly be regarded as suspect.
So the new law of our state repeals the practice of the past 40 years, which allowed people to update their address on Election Day if they had forgotten to do it.
No more. Now if they have changed their county of residence, they must go through a separate process of casting a "provisional" ballot, instead of being allowed to vote with the Decent, Stationary People
Well! Who am I to argue? Let us demean the hired help, browbeat the needy, suppress the vote and shut down the League of Women Voters.
Then we'll decide who's next.
Dear Common Dreams reader, The U.S. is on a fast track to authoritarianism like nothing I've ever seen. Meanwhile, corporate news outlets are utterly capitulating to Trump, twisting their coverage to avoid drawing his ire while lining up to stuff cash in his pockets. That's why I believe that Common Dreams is doing the best and most consequential reporting that we've ever done. Our small but mighty team is a progressive reporting powerhouse, covering the news every day that the corporate media never will. Our mission has always been simple: To inform. To inspire. And to ignite change for the common good. Now here's the key piece that I want all our readers to understand: None of this would be possible without your financial support. That's not just some fundraising cliche. It's the absolute and literal truth. We don't accept corporate advertising and never will. We don't have a paywall because we don't think people should be blocked from critical news based on their ability to pay. Everything we do is funded by the donations of readers like you. Will you donate now to help power the nonprofit, independent reporting of Common Dreams? Thank you for being a vital member of our community. Together, we can keep independent journalism alive when it’s needed most. - Craig Brown, Co-founder |
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
--Matthew 7:3
Public employees, as we all know, are parasites who should be punished. This is why we have not given them a general salary increase in several years.
This year, besides effectively cutting their pay further by requiring a pension contribution, Gov. Rick Scott also has ordered state employees to undergo drug testing no matter whether there is any reason to suspect drug use, nor whether they are in a job where it actually makes sense.
Not only do I heartily endorse this practice, but I would go further:
I would beat them, too.
That's right. All public employees should line up in front of their workplace once a month to be beaten by the Decent People.
During these ministrations the Decent People should remind the public employees of why they are being beaten; namely, that they are lazy bureaucrats by definition.
In some cases we will have to rotate the beatings. It seems impractical to pull out all the prison guards, or take all the Florida Highway Patrol troopers off the road, all at once.
On the other hand, I think we can beat schoolteachers twice a month, wholesale, just on general principle. This can easily be worked into the schedule of the public-school system, as they are not doing anything most of the time.
You might worry whether we can find enough Decent People for the job. I do not think that will be a problem. Decent People are plentiful on the Internet; I know this because they constantly are explaining to me what is wrong with everybody else.
Public employees are not the only suspicious group. The governor just signed a new law requiring Floridians on public assistance to undergo drug testing as well. (Perhaps they will be flattered to be treated just like public employees.)
Decent People also support this law, at least, the ones in the ever-present reader comments on our website, such as this real-life example:
"Love this now they will have to sell the 20k in tires and rims on there [sic] cars or some of the bling bling."
Because, you know, there is nobody getting help who deserves it, or because of the economy, or because he or she was foreclosed upon. Neither has anyone taken this assistance as a last resort.
I would be remiss by not including the largest group of Suspicious People of all, namely, Floridians who
Move.
Decent People do not move.
Renters, college students and the poor tend to move more often, and therefore can rightly be regarded as suspect.
So the new law of our state repeals the practice of the past 40 years, which allowed people to update their address on Election Day if they had forgotten to do it.
No more. Now if they have changed their county of residence, they must go through a separate process of casting a "provisional" ballot, instead of being allowed to vote with the Decent, Stationary People
Well! Who am I to argue? Let us demean the hired help, browbeat the needy, suppress the vote and shut down the League of Women Voters.
Then we'll decide who's next.
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
--Matthew 7:3
Public employees, as we all know, are parasites who should be punished. This is why we have not given them a general salary increase in several years.
This year, besides effectively cutting their pay further by requiring a pension contribution, Gov. Rick Scott also has ordered state employees to undergo drug testing no matter whether there is any reason to suspect drug use, nor whether they are in a job where it actually makes sense.
Not only do I heartily endorse this practice, but I would go further:
I would beat them, too.
That's right. All public employees should line up in front of their workplace once a month to be beaten by the Decent People.
During these ministrations the Decent People should remind the public employees of why they are being beaten; namely, that they are lazy bureaucrats by definition.
In some cases we will have to rotate the beatings. It seems impractical to pull out all the prison guards, or take all the Florida Highway Patrol troopers off the road, all at once.
On the other hand, I think we can beat schoolteachers twice a month, wholesale, just on general principle. This can easily be worked into the schedule of the public-school system, as they are not doing anything most of the time.
You might worry whether we can find enough Decent People for the job. I do not think that will be a problem. Decent People are plentiful on the Internet; I know this because they constantly are explaining to me what is wrong with everybody else.
Public employees are not the only suspicious group. The governor just signed a new law requiring Floridians on public assistance to undergo drug testing as well. (Perhaps they will be flattered to be treated just like public employees.)
Decent People also support this law, at least, the ones in the ever-present reader comments on our website, such as this real-life example:
"Love this now they will have to sell the 20k in tires and rims on there [sic] cars or some of the bling bling."
Because, you know, there is nobody getting help who deserves it, or because of the economy, or because he or she was foreclosed upon. Neither has anyone taken this assistance as a last resort.
I would be remiss by not including the largest group of Suspicious People of all, namely, Floridians who
Move.
Decent People do not move.
Renters, college students and the poor tend to move more often, and therefore can rightly be regarded as suspect.
So the new law of our state repeals the practice of the past 40 years, which allowed people to update their address on Election Day if they had forgotten to do it.
No more. Now if they have changed their county of residence, they must go through a separate process of casting a "provisional" ballot, instead of being allowed to vote with the Decent, Stationary People
Well! Who am I to argue? Let us demean the hired help, browbeat the needy, suppress the vote and shut down the League of Women Voters.
Then we'll decide who's next.