With crowds outside chanting, "Jail to the Chief!" and caught in the sordid turmoil of Watergate, Richard 'I Am Not A Crook' Nixon resigned the presidency 44 years ago today in the name of hastening "the start of that process of healing which is so desperately needed in America." Revisiting his final speech, most startling in this crudest of eras is his relative gravitas; for those pining for history to repeat itself, Borowitz suggests, "Imagine this, only without the complete sentences."
"In today's tumultuous world, it is important for all Americans to know exactly who in Washington is standing up for our most essential needs: a clean, livable environment, quality universal healthcare, and a more just, equitable society for all.
"Baltimore will be a public water hero when this legislation passes—and should...
Environmentalists are urging him to "move even farther by pledging to...
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