We can't even. As tensions with North Korea escalate, the bloodless souls at the Wall Street Journal wrote a piece analyzing how the stock market would fare in an all-out nuclear war. Buy yen and bunds, they say, and don't mind "t he yield curve would likely flatten," along with the world. People have been duly horrified, conceding a likely bullish market on canned goods, iodine tablets and cockroaches but noting, in the end, "The dead don't care about markets."