Cereal Boxes and Consumers

I've figured out there's no Santa Claus and I know
there's no Easter Bunny. You might as well tell me what's wrong with
the 4th of July.
-Precocious child to parents

They've
taken all the fun out of cereal boxes. That's not all. They've imposed
big fines on the one who tried to make them fun and threatened another.
Of course the cereal companies are partly to blame.

Those of
advanced years remember with what pleasure the new cereal box's advent
at the breakfast table was greeted by the young. In families with more
than one child that one prize led to breakfast time controversy, as the
siblings tried to determine who the recipient of the coveted object
should be. Among the treasured prizes were such things as decoder rings
that enabled the wearer to decode secret messages should the decoder
happen upon any. Other prizes included plastic airplanes that purported
to be models of actual airplanes but bore only the faintest resemblance
to any actual airplane. In the 1950's there were even more exciting
trinkets including the Atomic Ring and the Meteorite Ring, the
characteristics of which are charmingly described by Edward Meyer in
the College Hill Review.
Recent events suggest that cereal companies may want to return to the
days of freebies in boxes instead of health claims on boxes. Consider
the plight of Kellogg's Frosted Mini-Wheats and their recent encounter
with the Federal Trade Commission.

Those who manufacture
"Bite Size" Frosted Mini Wheats distinguishing them from other cereals
that are presumably not "Bite Size" (although exactly how to describe
the size of a Post Toastie or a Rice Krispie I'll leave professional
advertisers to decide) have long since abandoned the practice of
including the eagerly awaited toy in the box designed to appeal to the
young consumer. This is the 21st Century and cereal companies believe
that in order to attract buyers it's the nutritional rather than the
amusement value that counts. Kellogg's did research and, according to
the Federal Trade Commission,
claimed in its advertising that the attention span of children who ate
Frosted Mini Wheats improved nearly 20 percent over children who
skipped breakfast. (Some may wonder if there is a scientific disconnect
in that conclusion but I'll leave that to those smarter than I to
figure out.) The FTC found that Kellogg's study showed an improvement
in only 11 per cent of the students studied and the attention span of
only one-half of those students increased 20 per cent. As a result of
this, Kellogg's will be subject to a fine of up to $18,000. It would
probably have been better off sticking to decoder rings and tiny
plastic airplanes. Since misery loves company, Kellogg's is probably
delighted with the plight of its rival, General Mills.

General
Mills has been taken to task not by the Federal Trade Commission but by
the Food and Drug Administration. (Why two different agencies have
jurisdiction over seemingly identical infractions is unclear. It may be
because Cheerios' infraction affects those with heart conditions rather
than attention deficit disorder. That suggests that many cereals are
only half a generation removed from snake oil.)

General
Mills has apparently been suffering from Oatmeal Envy. According to the
FDA it has been misleading those seeking to reduce their cholesterol.
It has long been known that oatmeal as well as certain other foods can reduce cholesterol.
In a study released by the Mayo Clinic describing the foods that lower
cholesterol, however, cheerios were not included. Undeterred by its
non-inclusion, for the last two years General Mills proclaimed that
those who faithfully eat the cheerful little "O"s can reduce their
cholesterol by 4 per cent within six weeks. In so doing, it has
awakened an FDA that spent a happy 8 years under George Bush's
administration, sleeping. In a letter to General Mills, the re-awakened
FDA advised the company that: "Based on claims made on your product's
label, we have determined that your Cheerios(r) Toasted Whole Grain Oat
Cereal is promoted for conditions that cause it to be a drug because
the product is intended for use in the prevention, mitigation, and
treatment of disease." The letter
goes on to advise the company that cheerios may not be legally marketed
with the above claims in the United States without an approved new drug
application." General Mills says its science is strong and it looks
forward "to discussing this with FDA." If it loses it can always put
decoder rings back in the packages.