A Beacon Of Hope and Woke Bullshit

Citing the value of “keep(ing) the flame of democracy burning," the Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to Venezuelan opposition leader María Corina Machado for her “tireless work promoting democratic rights for (her) people." Machado called the award an “immense recognition of the struggle of all Venezuelans." With their usual grace, MAGA-ites blasted the choice of "some lady in Venezuela" and not a mad king terrorizing brown people, siccing troops on his citizens, and murdering fishermen. America: Fuck that guy.

A key but divisive figure in Venezuela who's been called "the smiling face of Washington’s regime-change machine," Machado faced years of political persecution under Nicolás Maduro’s regime while building a powerful grassroots democracy movement from a once-fragmented opposition and mobilizing citizens across political lines. A 58-year-old industrial engineer, she was blocked by the courts from running for president against Maduro in 2024 elections; facing death threats and bogus conspiracy charges, she has been living in hiding since then.

The Nobel Committee praised Machado as "a brave and committed champion of peace" struggling "to achieve a just and peaceful transition from dictatorship to democracy.” They also called her a symbol of civilian courage and "a beacon of hope for Latin America." Possibly sending a message to those of us facing growing autocracy, they affirmed the value of “keep(ing) the flame of democracy burning during a growing darkness" and said she "has shown that the tools of democracy are also the tools of peace.”

International leaders praised Machado's "tireless struggle for freedom and democracy (that) has touched hearts and inspired millions"; the EU Commission's Ursula von der Leyen called the award a tribute to her courage and “every voice that refuses to be silenced.” She joins the ranks of other distinguished women honored in recent years for championing human rights, including Iran's Narges Mohammadi, Myanmar's Daw Aung San Suu Ky - both still imprisoned - Tawakkol Karman of Yemen and Liberia’s Ellen Johnson Sirleaf and Leymah Gbowee, joint recipients in 2011.

Announcing this year's award, the Nobel Committee seemed to especially take note of and aim at the looming threat posed by Trump. "When authoritarians seize power, it is crucial to recognize courageous defenders of freedom who rise and resist," they wrote. "Democracy depends on people who refuse to stay silent, who dare to step forward despite grave risk, and who remind us that freedom must never be taken for granted, but must always be defended - with words, with courage, and with determination." (And, sometimes, blow-up animals costumes."

Told the news before the announcement in an emotional, early morning call from Kristian Berg Harpviken, Director of the Norwegian Nobel Institute, Machado sounded shocked and tearful. "Oh my God, Oh my God," she repeatedly exclaimed. "I have no words." She quickly added, "I hope you understand this is a movement, this is an achievement of a whole society. I am just, you know, one person. I certainly do not deserve this." Harpviken graciously assured her that both she and the movement did deserve the honor.

In grotesque contrast were the denizens and Narcissist-In-Chief of MAGA land, outraged the prize was not awarded to a racist, lying, vindictive despot who's busy threatening political opponents, ordering violent roundups of immigrants, deploying his military against cities whose leaders disagree with him, cracking down on dissent and undertaking extrajudicial killings of fishermen in the Caribbean who may not have done anything wrong while boasting about "ending" several imaginary wars and whining that not winning the award would be "a big insult to our country."

Somehow, shamefully, some mainstream media took seriously Trump's longtime, petulant claim to deserve what many consider the world's most prestigious prize - for many, proof of how low American media have fallen during the reign of a guy who still boasts about his "perfect score" on a basic cognitive test that requires naming a camel and lion, who is arguably more likely to win a Heisman Trophy or Miss Teen U.S.A., and who now joins the estimable ranks of Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini, Mao Tse-Tung, Pol Pot, Saddam Hussein, Putinm, and "all the Kims" to rightly fail to win a Nobel.

With possibly strategic generosity, Machado later dedicated her prize not only to "the suffering people of Venezuela," but to Trump for "his decisive support of our cause." Trump giddily twisted that mention into claims he'd “been helping her along the way,” she accepted the prize "in his honor," and he was "happy because I saved millions of lives." Still, MAGA officials and fans were pissed, and a White House statement charged the Committee "proved they place politics over peace" by rejecting Trump, who "has the heart of a humanitarian."

Supporters called the decision "unbelievable," "a disgrace," "an utter joke," "woke bullshit." "They hand it to someone nobody's (aka I've) ever heard of," said one. "The prize is garbage now, a Crackerjacks prize." Right-wing activist Laura Loomer called the choice "an absolute joke." "Everyone knows President Trump deserves the Nobel Peace Prize," she said. "More affirmative action nonsense." From The MAGA Voice: "Some random person that nobody knows... TRUMP COULD HAVE CURED CANCER" (if he hadn't halted cancer research.)

"Dear Snobs, Accredited Clowns and TDS-driven socialists of the European elite," wrote one Sebastian Adlercreutz, whose bio reads, "No woke lefties...Jesus is my Lord." "You have yet again managed to turn the Nobel Peace Price into a worthless trinket." Several GOP Reps raged online: One argued, "The Nobel Peace Prize does not deserve Trump," one proposed Congress give Dear Leader their own Nobel Peace Prize - it's unclear how that might work - and one thought they should create their own Trump Peace and Prosperity Award as a sort of participation trophy.

"TOTAL FIX," fumed a Truth Social post evidently from Trump. "Norway - a tiny country with expensive fjords and weak politicians - has the nerve to lecture AMERICA...Their leader (is) a LIBERAL lightweight and globalist puppet, a clowen in Oslo's palace, and his Nobel cronies are a disgrace." Announcing 100% tariffs on Norwegian goods, it charged "they RIGGEDED the nobel to embarass ME" and declared, "We will FIGHT. We will EXPOSE them. Norwegian Marxists will not humiliated AMERICA and get away with it!" Eventually, it turned out the post was a parody. We think.