Republicans Must Be Thinking About a President Mike Pence Right Now

Vice President* Mike Pence is stopping by the Commonwealth (God save it!) on Tuesday night to raise money for the Trump re-election effort and the Republican National Committee. (Some crumbs may accrue to the Massachusetts Republican Party, probably to keep the lights on, and to keep the local party's officials from having to sell Rolex knockoffs on the sidewalk in bad weather.)

Our Republican governor, Smilin' Charlie Baker, will not be at the fundraiser because his attending will remind everyone that he actually is a member of a political party gone completely mad.

Why not give the president* a laurel and hearty handshake and tell him to go slice fairway woods out of bounds for the rest of his life? Thank him for his great service to the ultimate Republican goal of dismantling the Republic for the benefit of their donor class and show him the door.

So, he's scheduled to sign aboard the Pequod, or something. From The Boston Globe:

One person who won't be seeing Pence during what appears to be his first visit to Massachusetts as vice president: Governor Charlie Baker. Baker, a Republican who often keeps the Trump White House at a metaphorical distance, said he's going to be far away from Boston while Pence is there.

"I think I'm actually going to be in the South Coast, down in New Bedford, when he's here," Baker told reporters. Asked whether he was trying to send a message by avoiding the fund-raiser, Baker said no.

"I'm not sending a message," the governor said at the State House Monday afternoon. "I'm just not going to be here because my calendar already had all kinds of other stuff on it which was important." Baker, who is up for reelection this year, said he did not know whether he had been invited to the event.

And I am the Tsar of all the Russias.

But this visit from the man to whom the late, great Doghouse Riley used to refer to as "The Choirboy" did set me to thinking. I'm not one of those people who think that the Republicans in Congress don't want to move on the president* because the FSB has video of them all making the sign of the two-humped lizard with, well, two-humped lizards.

But, at this point, with the president* re-enacting the Tell-Tale Heart in public and all over the electric Twitter machine, you have to wonder. Why not give the president* a laurel and hearty handshake and tell him to go slice fairway woods out of bounds for the rest of his life? Thank him for his great service to the ultimate Republican goal of dismantling the Republic for the benefit of their donor class and show him the door. After all, Mike Pence is waiting in the wings.

Mike Pence has been committed to that goal longer and far more deeply than the current president* has, and his commitment comes with genuine, extra-special Leviticus Jesus that the president* can't even fake convincingly. He will give them everything they ask for, and he'll do it without causing them worldwide embarrassment and without occasioning a bloodbath at the polls this coming November. And, make no mistake, he's just as dim and, therefore, just as pliable as this guy. What are they waiting for?

Makes you wonder. About lizards.