All Further Articles

Tuesday, November 24, 2020
Birds Of A Feather: Lame Duck Pardons Turkey And Everything's Fine Here Why Do You Ask?
Because things aren't weird enough, Tuesday saw the shabby, surreal spectacle of President Turkey congratulating Corn the Turkey - "Look at that beautiful, beautiful bird. Oh, so lucky. That is a lucky bird" - because he gets to live another day in the hellscape the guy pardoning him created. The ever-peculiar event was reportedly muted - no jokes, few cameras, loser city - but reporters loudly asked if he'd be pardoning himself. No answer. Maybe because, in truth, the sins are unpardonable.
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Monday, November 23, 2020
Sharing the Landscape: Gator and Gunner Come To An Agreement, More or Less
The macro view of things remains dark - plague rages, planet burns, evil clowns bluster - so we'll start the week with a serendipitous alligator wrasslin' match. Wildlife surveillance cameras captured the moment a Florida retiree rushed into a pond to save his puppy from the jaws of a small alligator that "came out of the water like a missile." After a tussle, he pried the gator's jaws open, the dog scurried off, no hard feelings all around. Best touch: The guy never dropped his cigar.
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Thursday, November 19, 2020
My Cousin Rudy Is Melting But He Can Still Smell Election Crimes With the Deranged Help Of His Elite Strike Force
Ooof. Well that was bonkers. In his latest train wreck of a news conference, Rudy Giuliani claimed that, in a "common scheme," Joe Biden rigged the election with "mass cheating" in a coordinated, nationwide conspiracy with city officials, along with George Soros and Hugo Chavez even though he's dead; he proved his charge by re-enacting a scene from "My Cousin Vinny" as hair dye poured down his sweaty face, insisting, "This is real! It's not made up!" Dear God, make it stop.
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Wednesday, November 18, 2020
Orwellian: Ardent Covidiots Vow NOBODY WILL TAKE ARE FREEDOM AWAY
The U.S. map is blazingly red: 11.6 million COVID cases, over 250,000 dead. Still, the stupid is strong in us. Led by a White House and Fox News in such rabid denial some of the dying join in, covidiot rumors that government has "cancelled Thanksgiving" have them raving about tyranny, communists, sheeple, "fascist muzzles." Brutal truth from Gov. Phil Murphy for those who find masks "uncomfortable and annoying": "Y ou know what's really uncomfortable and annoying? When you die."
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Tuesday, November 17, 2020
Here, Right Matters (Still)
On the day Trump fired the latest person for doing his job - Chris Krebs for saying there's no voter fraud - it's good to see another truth-teller, Lt. Col Alexander Vindman, back from the gulag and doing well, thanks. The National Security aide ousted for exposing the Ukraine grift has a shiny new job with Lawfare, a respected website about national security issues. He's also still speaking up, and has a book coming out. Its title, from his testimony: “Here, Right Matters: An American Story.”
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Monday, November 16, 2020
The Biggest Loser: He Who Refuses To Be Dragged From Office
As the petulant man-baby babbles in denial, the world turns against him. Millions rejoice at his firing, he's lost 16 court cases - the Supreme Court just declined to hear about fictional crimes in Pennsylvania - Twitter campaigns want to unfollow and deactivate him, his staff treat him like "a lunatic on the subway - everyone sits and stares ahead, and waits for him (to) get off." Poet Julie Bruck on the dictator hiding wild-eyed in his bedroom: "And now the dogs, they gather in the square."
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Saturday, November 14, 2020
Pancakes Against Fascism
The kids are alright. In honor of Saturday's Million MAGA March to stand up and be infected for The Biggest Loser - which mid-morning had drawn a few hundred - K-Pop and Tik-Tok teenagers vowed to Make America Pancake Again by flooding MAGA hashtags with, yes, tasty pancakes for the newly blue-flipped states. Most popular were blueberry and rainbow-colored, also scallion for diversity, dinosaur for their belief systems, and many jubilant sprinkles. Their message: "Fuck your march. It's over."
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Thursday, November 12, 2020
Anger. Shock. Dismay. Still.
Exactly eight months after Louisville cops murdered Breonna Taylor in her bed, two grand jurors have again accused both the A.G. and police of repeatedly lying to cover up their misconduct. And the only cop charged - not with murder but "blindly" firing some of the 32 shots - was just accused of sexual assault in a lawsuit also naming the police chief and other cops who long protected him as he "used his uniform and badge" to target women. He sounds nice. They all do.
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Wednesday, November 11, 2020
Calamitously, as the loser in chief sulks and stalls and plots, the pandemic soars. The horrific numbers: The U.S. just topped 10 million cases - a million diagnosed in the last 10 days, now up to 145,000 a day - with one in 441 Americans infected, hospitalizations at an all-time high, and no end in sight to the "terrifying" surge. The good news: Biden has a plan. The bad news: Th e loser who got fired for not having a plan except "let them die" is willfully sabotaging it.
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Monday, November 9, 2020
A Hot Line For The Times
The mad toddler rages on, the party he ravaged cowers and colludes, the lawsuits pile up, his grifter goons urge lackeys to "stay at the ready." To help, they set up a “voter fraud” hotline that's been flooded, though mostly by snickering pranksters calling to order pizza, report poopy ballots, or recount suspicious sightings - an obese turtle on its back, a creamy orange in a spacesuit, a shirtless Vladimir on a horse, a Hamburglar stealing votes and lots of fraud at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
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