All Further Articles

Sunday, October 27, 2019
A Lotta Crap
Announcing the death of ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, our valiant, humble leader displayed his usual gravitas: He ghoulishly bragged al-Baghdadi "died like a dog," repeatedly thanked Russia but didn't tell Congress, posted a staged photo - he was golfing at the time - of watching the raid, didn't note that his Syria withdrawal hampered the raid and his language will likely further inflame the region, and made up most of the details. So good work, Private Bone Spurs.
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Friday, October 25, 2019
Well Done, Good and Faithful Servant: Beloved Brother Elijah Comes Home
Rep. Elijah Cummings, warrior for good, master of the House, beloved son of Baltimore and the first black lawmaker to lie in state at the Capitol was celebrated Friday at his longtime church as "a fierce champion of truth, justice and kindness." Thousands of residents listened and wept as speakers eloquently praised the sharecropper's son and statesman who held fast to his decency and integrity while fighting to the end for “the soul of our democracy."
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Thursday, October 24, 2019
Human Scum, Unite
So many follies, so little time. In the last day, the swiftly unraveling Idiot Thug has threatened to sic his "tough people" - police, bikers, military - on his enemies, promised to build a big beautiful wall in...Colorado and, frantically expanding his repertoire of insults and targets, followed in a fine fascist tradition by calling people who disagree with him, even when they're in his own party, "human scum." Pot meet kettle. Then try googling the illustrious term.
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Wednesday, October 23, 2019
When the Clowns Stormed the Circus, Brought Their (Illegal) Phones and Ordered Pizza To Save the Republic
The day's bonkers news was Matt 'Big Hair/ Wee Brain' Gaetz and other GOP yahoos storming a secure House hearing to protest the "Soviet-style" - ie legal - impeachment inquiry. The stunt earned him lots of press, and a call for the Sergeant at Arms to “take action” against the “blatant breach of security”; given hundreds of righteous citizens, some in wheelchairs, have been arrested for likewise barging into Congress, we hope "action" means zip-ties are in his future.
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Monday, October 21, 2019
What We Do With Our History: After Vandalism and Shootings, Emmett Till Gets A New Memorial - Bulletproof
This weekend, survivors of Emmett Till, brutally killed at 14 for allegedly whistling at a white woman, gathered to honor him with a new memorial after earlier ones were repeatedly shot up. This one is bulletproof, which "speaks volumes." Because then as now "evil is learned" - old-timers saying Till "overstepped his bounds," frat boys posing at the site with shotguns, a racist man-baby squawking of "lynching" - advocates insist healing begins "by telling the truth," bullet holes and all.
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Saturday, October 19, 2019
Me Sad. Country Dead
A new week at the circus after the usual follies: A leader who fumes/lies, doesn't know the name of his Defense Secretary and is, a minion admits, a hotelier pretending to be a president. Still, Andy Borowitz is here to give us hope. Marie Kondo-like, he urges us to de-clutter the people's house by asking, "Does this spark joy?" We've culled Bannon, Nielson, Bolton, Sanders. Now, once "that garish orange thing" is gone, we might find underneath "things you forgot you even had, like democracy."
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Thursday, October 17, 2019
Dancing With the Angels
So Sad. We mourn the sudden, too-soon passing of Rep. Elijah Cummings, 68, son of sharecroppers, Baltimore icon, lion of the House, fierce advocate for human rights, a calm good man of impassioned principle and deep-seated integrity whose steadfast mission in life was to empower others. Said his wife, “He worked until his last breath because he believed our democracy was the highest and best expression of our collective humanity." Said Cummings, "Do what you can."
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Wednesday, October 16, 2019
Trump's 1000 Years: You Are A Great Guy. Will You Be My Friend? Emails. Ancient Rome. I Killed ISIS. Let's Make A Deal. Meltdown (Unending)
Mazel Tov! We made it to Trump’s 1,000th year/ day! What he did: Told Turkey and Syria to fight over sand. Said the friendship of Italy and America goes back thousands of years. Called Pelosi "a third-grade politician." Bragged about his "brilliant" strategy in Syria, where he withdrew 28 troops. Said the 2016 election - spoiler: he "won" - was corrupt. Touted his "very powerful letter" to Erdogan. Boasted, "We're the boss. Just remember that." Holy mother of God, as if we could forget it.
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Monday, October 14, 2019
On War Crimes and Tennis Sheds
Astoundingly, amidst Trump's senseless Syrian clusterfuck, Grifters Inc keep doing their tawdry thing. Trump whines, rages, touts Sean Spicer's dancing; Melania heralds a new bestest tennis shed; Eric peddles lies and chocolate; and Nepotism Barbie jabbers about women coming "to the table." Alas, Kurdish human rights leader Hervin Khalaf will not be: She was dragged from her car, raped, stoned to death and beheaded. Note to Grifters: Her blood, and so many others', is on your ghastly hands.
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Sunday, October 13, 2019
The Work of Democracy: The Despicable Susan Collins Is Irate A Constituent Actually Asked Her Some Questions
Poor Sen. Susan 'Sure Let's Put Drunken Rapists On the Supreme Court' Collins, who hasn't held a Town Hall since the days when she had a fragment of a spine, just endured the indignity of - gasp - being asked what she thought about some stuff by a guy who helps pay her salary. When she refused to answer and then bad-mouthed him as rude, he took out a full-page ad chastising her and seeking answers to his questions. We only have one: WHY is she still friggin' here?
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