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Friday, October 6, 2017
We Lift You Up: Pretty Much Everyone Is Going Rogue To Help Puerto Rico
You may feel hopeless after the Bounty-Throwing Clown, at an Hispanic event, used a grotesque Spanish accent to say Puh-WER-to Rico - after scrubbing FEMA's bad news from there so nobody will say mean things about him. Still, we rise. Many nurses, truckers, journalists, celebrities - who, thanks to Colbert, raised a million bucks by posting gawky teen selfies - are helping. And Lin-Manuel Miranda just released a Puerto-Rican-star-studded song, "a rallying cry, an invocation" for his country.
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Wednesday, October 4, 2017
On Compromising Our Bloody F*cking Freedoms
Never mind the carnage. Though a vast majority of the country believes we have too many guns and not enough gun laws, the White House is arguing that, "We shouldn’t rush toward compromising our freedoms before we have all the facts." So okay, some facts: Half the Congress is bought and paid for by the NRA. And there are gobs of humdrum activities - from "having a fucking bake sale" to "walking a fucking dog" to "watching a fucking DVD" - more regulated than buying a gun.
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Tuesday, October 3, 2017
Puerto Rico Hit By Second Catastrophe In Form Of Sociopathic Orange Clown
Big Cheeto made landfall in Puerto Rico. Though 95% of residents lack electricity and over half have no water, he bragged everyone knows "what a great job we’ve done," said Puerto Ricans should be "very proud" they only have 16 deaths so far unlike "a real catastrophe like Katrina," complained they're costing too much, told a family with nothing to "have a good time," shot paper towels into the crowd, boasted about the F-35, and refused to let people buy hot meals with food stamps. Make it stop.
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Monday, October 2, 2017
If It Were Up To Me
More carnage. More armed-to-the-teeth white madmen. More hollow, heinous thoughts and prayers from pols who took millions in blood money and voted against ending it. More tone-deaf blather - "warmest condolences" WTF? - from a guy who got more than all the rest. More appalling numbers: America in 2017 has seen 273 mass shootings. Years ago, Cheryl Wheeler got it right: Take away the guns.
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Saturday, September 30, 2017
On Leadership, Humanity and Golf Trophies
We Can't Even. Okay, Drumpf may have called San Juan's tireless mayor "nasty," and the Puerto Ricans begging for help "ingrates," and complained, "They want everything to be done for them," and insisted the recovery is "getting great reviews" though 95% of people have no power and 55% have no water. But Sunday he dedicated a golf trophy to them. Amidst the outrage, Olbermann says it best: "GET THIS SON OF A BITCH THE FUCK OUT OF HERE."
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Friday, September 29, 2017
Yulín Cruz For President: Dammit This Is Not A Good News Story
Heroine of the day is San Juan Mayor Carmen Yulín Cruz, who ripped Trump officials a new one for determinedly inhabiting a self-serving alternative universe that views the island's apocalyptic conditions as "good news." Citing the daily horrors she sees - no water, power, baby food, dialysis - Yulín Cruz spat out a furious response: “Damn it, this is not a good news story. This is a people are dying story."
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Thursday, September 28, 2017
Crooks and Grifters Inc.
Remember when we heard smarmy Tom Price had thrown away $400,000 on private jets while working hard to strip Americans of their health care? Fake news, people: It was actually a cool million, including for unexplained trips to Europe, Asia and Africa. Sensing public mutiny, Price offered to reimburse taxpayers - but only for his seat - a whopping $51,887.31. These guys truly are a (shit) piece of work.
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Wednesday, September 27, 2017
A Duty To Warn: The Most Dangerous Man In the World
As the Trumpian lunacy spirals onward, 27 esteemed psychiatrists and mental health experts have by-passed the "Goldwater Rule" - no diagnosis without examination - in the name of their "moral and civic duty" to assess "The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump." In their book, out next week, they describe a sociopath with multiple disorders; regardless of the specifics, they stress, Trump "is dangerous to the public health."
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Tuesday, September 26, 2017
A Shelter For Fragile Egos: Jeff Sessions Tells Pre-Screened Law Students Asking Pre-Screened Questions That He Loves Free Speech (Except For, You Know, Black People)
Surrounded by a massive police presence, the country's top law enforcement official told a group of carefully screened students at Georgetown's Law School that, "In this great land, the government does not tell you what to think or what to say." In his speech, only announced the day before, Sessions went on to denounce uppity knee-taking football players and defend his boss' call, hours before, for them to be fired. We may need to upgrade the ole Irony Alert buzzer. It can't keep up.
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Monday, September 25, 2017
We're Sorry, Are These Disabled Protesters Who Could Die From Your Bill Disturbing Your Rest By Getting Dragged Out In Their Wheelchairs?
Chanting "Kill the Bill, Not Us," over a hundred activists, many in wheelchairs, halted the only hearing on the Graham-Cassidy anti-health-care bill and were met with a response only the current cretins in power could conjure up: They were removed and arrested by police, Chairman Orrin Hatch told them to "shut up," and Bill Cassidy literally yawned through the turmoil. Democrat Ron Wyden called the spectacle "an abomination,” which aptly sums up the state of the Republic.
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