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Lock 'Em Up

Abby Zimet

Pick-up artist Samuel Fisher, who came to the Capitol with "a small arsenal," gets picked up by the FBI.

It's not getting much news coverage, but while the impeached guy and his virulent CPAC fans were feverishly parroting The Big and Evidently Stubbornly Undying Lie - "You won! You won!" - the wheels of justice have been slowly, methodically, sometimes improbably quashing the thugs and idiots who tried to take down the government to prove it. This weekend, over a dozen more rioters were indicted on multiple felonious counts, each worth up to 20 years prison time, bringing the total to what Sedition Tracker puts at 269. A federal grand jury indicted six members of the Proud Boys (including one proud girl), on charges ranging from conspiracy - possible maximum penalty 5 years - obstruction of official duties - 20 years - obstruction of law enforcement during civil disorder - 10 years - entering restricted building - 1 to 10 years, depending if a weapon was involved. Among them is William Chrestman, who prosecutors say ran around with an axe handle revving up people - "Whose house is this?" "Our House!" "Take It! - and yelled at a besieged Capitol police officer trying to fire tear gas, “You shoot and I’ll take your fucking ass out!"

Also indicted was Josh Hughes (9 counts), Henry Muntzer (5 counts), Michael Foy, filmed beating a cop with a hockey stick (8 counts, and Samuel Camargo, who posted after the riot, "Just finished speaking to an FBI agent, I believe I've been cleared," 4 counts. One comment: "In a way you've been cleared; in another, more accurate way, you've been charged on four counts." Also charged was James Horning, who repeatedly videoed himself, often taunting police; at one point he lit up and declared, "Fuck it, smoking a joint on the Capitol steps right now." Oddly, none of these clowns - the cosplayers in green camo to match the Capitol's potted plants or with easy-to-spot logos on jackets or posting boastful selfies or mugging for the cameras - seemed to consider maybe #SeditionHasConsequences. They included Samuel Fisher, a self-described pick-up artist, who laid it all out and then some: He brought weapons, 1,000 rounds of ammunition, a bulletproof vest and vowed online, "The Deep State is arrested and hanged on the White House lawn for High Treason." When his neighbor videotaped the scene as armed FBI guys swarmed and ordered him spread-eagled on the ground, Fisher furiously sputtered, "What the fuck?!" - coincidentally, just like many of us watching these moronic yahoos as they fumbled to dismantle democracy.

Proud Boys and Girl, clockwise, William Chrestman, Christopher Kuehne, Ryan Ashlock, Louis Enrique Colon, Felicia Konold, Cory Konold

Michael Foy, filmed beating a cop with a hockey stick (conveniently pictured), eight counts
Josh Hughes in Capitol (conveniently pictured), nine counts
Samuel Fisher in happier, seditious times

Abby Zimet

Abby Zimet

Abby has written CD's Further column since 2008. A longtime, award-winning journalist, she moved to the Maine woods in the early 70s, where she spent a dozen years building a house, hauling water and writing before moving to Portland. Having come of political age during the Vietnam War, she has long been involved in women's, labor, anti-war, social justice and refugee rights issues. 

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