Skip to main content

Why are the billionaires always laughing?

Because they know the corporate media will never call bullshit on their bullshit.

Why are the billionaires laughing?

It’s easy to laugh when the corporate press treats you as a glorious success instead of the epitome of a broken social order. Billionaires laugh because they know the corporate media prefers to fawn over them rather than hold them to account.

Today, we ask you to support our nonprofit, independent journalism because we are not impressed by billionaires flying into space, their corporations despoiling our health and planet, or their vast fortunes safely concealed in tax havens across the globe. We are not laughing.

We are hard at work producing journalism for the common good. With our Fall Campaign underway, please support this mission today. We cannot do it without you.

Support Our Work -- Join the small group of generous readers who donate, keeping Common Dreams free for millions of people each year. Every donation—large or small—helps us bring you the news that matters.

And Behold, the MAGA-ites Sinned Bigly, and They Were Cast Out, and the Lord Your God Saith Unto Them, Jesus, Really?

Abby Zimet

CPAC 2021! Wingnut City on Steroids! The first day of this year's exercise in flamboyant delusion featured a parade of alternate-reality speakers laboring hard and loud to out-bonkers-and-hoodwink each other, with impressive results. There was Ted 'Braveheart' Cruz, devotee of violent insurrection, who ended his incoherent speech by shrieking "FREEDOM!" - from masks, Democrats, people making fun of Cancun? - in an attempt to channel William Wallace without the face-paint, we think, though many noted Wallace got drawn and quartered and Cruz is just like Wallace "except for all the courage, honor, patriotism, bravery, strength, integrity, morality, virtue, toughness, wisdom, fearlessness, goodness, scruples and righteousness" which makes him "less like Braveheart and more like Naivefart." There was Josh Hawley whining about being "silenced" just because he rejected valid election results and pundit Deroy Murdock who longed for the good old days when Hillary et al didn't try to to steal your grandfather's insulin with absentee ballots - don't ask - and Kimberly 'THE BEST - IS YET - TO COME!' Guilfoyle yelling about "re-igniting the American Dream" because "socialists and communists want to see our nation burn" but thankfully the GOP will be "reborn as a party of the working class and minorities" even though hours earlier the GOP stalled a minimum wage hike. Then she introduced the coke-fueled "SON OF THE LEADER OF THE WARRIOR MAGA MOVEMENT!!!!" who strutted on stage to rant about Hunter Biden, again. Star power! There were, it's true, glitches: CPAC - tagline #AmericaUncancelled - had to cancel a YouTuber named Young Pharoah after it turned out he said the existence of Jews was "ALL A COMPLETE #LIE," and attendees booed organizers for asking people to wear a mask like the law says. But the SS-insignia shaped stage made up for them.

Still, the highlight of the day was when they broke out the Golden Calf, a yuge gold statue of Trump in red tie, stars-and-stripes surfer shorts and flip flops, looking suspiciously like either Bart Simpson or Guy Fieri or Bob's Big Boy, holding a copy of the Constitution in one gold hand and a magic wand in the other. It was made - in Mexico it turns out - by Tom Zegan, a commercial artist and Trump fan who noted it has "all kinds of symbolism...A lot of thought went into it." Deep stuff: suit and tie=businessman, shorts=patriotic, sandals=retired, Constitution=he follows it. "And the people bowed and prayed/to the neon god they made": It got wheeled in and set up for gleeful selfies - win a t-shirt! - because somehow all these Evangelical Christians never got to the part in the Bible about false idols and graven images. It also quickly drew "a backlash of Biblical proportions." While the beast captures "the apocalyptic vibes" of Trump's presidency, it was generally agreed that, insofar as worshiping the golden calf was bad, "worshiping a golden jackass is worse." "If only there were some sacred text," mused one tweet, "one most people at CPAC claimed allegiance to, that very explicitly warns against making golden idols..." From BrooklynDad, "This reminds me of that religious story, something something something Golden Calf, something something graven image, something something false idols." Many just listed relevant Scripture passages: Exodus 32:8, Matthew 7:15, Jeremiah 14:14, Exodus 20:3: "And the Lord struck the people with a plague because of what they did with the (golden) calf Aaron had made." Cynics noted the statue's perfect for a group preparing to "wander the electoral desert for 40 years," or that it's "time for Moses to come down from the mountain and break some tablets." Still, the vulgarians of CPAC drank it up; on the video, they happily gush as it gets wheeled in. "Awesome," says one. Another: "That is so cool!" Not. Who are these fucking people, and can they leave our country soon, please?"

Abby Zimet

Abby Zimet

Abby has written CD's Further column since 2008. A longtime, award-winning journalist, she moved to the Maine woods in the early 70s, where she spent a dozen years building a house, hauling water and writing before moving to Portland. Having come of political age during the Vietnam War, she has long been involved in women's, labor, anti-war, social justice and refugee rights issues. 

Israel Condemned for Designating Palestinian Human Rights Groups 'Terrorist Organizations'

"Labeling effective NGOs 'terrorists' is a textbook way to evade accountability for human rights violations—and an affront to everyone who cares about peace," said Rep. Ilhan Omar.

Kenny Stancil ·

House Progressives Call On Biden to Declare a Climate Emergency—Now

"Your inaction," Rep. Cori Bush warned the president, "is undermining our efforts to deliver good jobs, environmental justice, and a renewable energy future."

Jessica Corbett ·

Despite Politicians and Pundits' Claims, Twitter Finds Algorithm Favors Right-Wing Voices

"So much for Trump's claim that Twitter has an anti-conservative bias."

Brett Wilkins ·

'And Maybe More': Biden Says He's Open to Reforming Filibuster to Win Voting Rights

"It's a simple choice between a free America or one chained by the past," said one advocate. "Our democracy hangs in the balance."

Julia Conley ·

Carbon Offsets Are Nothing But a 'Dangerous' Con Job, Warns Climate Group

"The best way to prevent the heating of our planet," says Friends of the Earth, "is to end the use of fossil fuels for good."

Andrea Germanos ·

Support our work.

We are independent, non-profit, advertising-free and 100% reader supported.

Subscribe to our newsletter.

Quality journalism. Progressive values.
Direct to your inbox.

Subscribe to our Newsletter.

Common Dreams, Inc. Founded 1997. Registered 501(c3) Non-Profit | Privacy Policy
Common Dreams Logo