Pancakes Against Fascism

The kids are alright. In honor of Saturday's much-hyped Million MAGA March - which called on true believers to stand up and be counted and get infected amidst a roaring pandemic in order to stroke the irreparably damaged ego of The Biggest Loser -  K-Pop and Tik-Tok teenagers decided to Make America Pancake Again by flooding MAGA hashtags with, yes, tasty pancakes for all the newly blue states Biden flipped. Because anyone with a brain or soul is staying home anyway - see pandemic - many happily obliged, using the compelling argument, "Fascism is so tiresome - try some pancakes." By mid-morning, the march had drawn a few hundred thuggish, angry marchers yelling "Fuck Antifa!," "Stop the Steal!," and U.S.A!" Setting a strikingly more peaceable tone, meanwhile, the hashtags were deluged by blueberry and rainbow-colored pancakes. There were also scallion pancakes in honor of our welcome diversity, red, white and blue pancakes because those colors don't run, dinosaur pancakes to highlight the marchers' belief systems, GIFs of exceedingly effective electric flippers and proud (gay) boys marching, warnings to marchers they should go to the D.C. Taxidermy and Tanning Salon in Wershington, and many jubilant sprinkles. To the defiant deplorables, they declared, "Fuck your march. It's over." To the rest of us they urged, "Stay home please, and eat pancakes."

We'll take 306 of these, please

Grifters gonna grift, always.

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