Trump In A Nutshell: They Came For the Covid, But Stayed For the Hypothermia

Stranded rallygoers: #sorrynotsorry. ABC photo

In a mind-numbing, butt-freezing, irony-rich shitshow that begged willing metaphors to write themselves, the guys who say they want to run the country just failed to run a parking lot in Omaha after missing post-rally buses left thousands of believers stranded for hours and miles in frigid temps in search of their cars, and dozens in need of medical help. Trump's hypothermia gala, which many dubbed Fyre Festival Part 2, was reportedly a dumpster fire of incompetence from the start, with people waiting in long enough lines at each step of their quest that some, impatient to cheer on a deranged racist conman trying to destroy democracy, started pushing, shouting and threatening to piss on their neighbors if the line didn't move faster. Often, security seemed flummoxed: They told people heading to the south lot it was full and redirected them to the north lot, where they were sent back to the south lot with its thousands of people standing in four snaking lines for buses. Meanwhile, temps dropped to 31 degrees, MAGA hats weren't much help, and there were few masks in sight. At the rally, Trump said the U.S. was "turning the corner" on COVID, despite Nebraska cases hitting record highs and 500,000 new U.S. cases in the last week, but details, details. He also complained about the cold - "I'm standing here freezing" - and told his sheeple, "Get the hell out and vote." Then he was whisked away on his posh, warm, hamberder-packed private jet, leaving behind a fetid trail of "I really don't care, do u?" fumes and his hapless, frosty, often older supporters waiting in more lines for 30 buses to return them to their cars, almost four miles away.


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But the buses didn't show. Some reports said there was traffic congestion; others said the bus drivers had only been paid one way, suspected they'd be ripped off, and split. In the chaos, some people started to hike the 3.7 miles but got lost -  police reported "officers picking up people wandering in the cold unable to locate their vehicles" - and exasperated  medics began reporting cases of hypothermia and disorientation. "One officer advising 8 to 9 elderly people who are struggling," posted Omaha Scanner. "Separate officer advising they have located an elderly party who is frozen cold unable to move with an altered mental status." When the last belated bus left around midnight, over 30 people had sought medical help and at least 7 were taken to hospitals. In a statement, the campaign said they love their supporters and “we always strive to provide the best guest experience at our events." Twitter, of course, had thoughts about the debacle; many were #sorrynotsorry for anyone stupid enough to be there at all. Still, they offered thoughts and prayers and helpful hints: It wouldn't be cold without thermometers. Don't let the cold dominate your lives. It's Obama's/ Fauci's/ Lesley Stahl's fault. And, Jared-like, if you expect the government to help you find your car, you have to WANT to be successful finding it. Some climbers even mapped out "those poor souls left out in the cold" - dead bodies on Everest - to honor "each one of these highly motivated patriots." Stephen Miller is there - "note the spray-on hair held up well in the unforgiving cold" - as is a Karen "after she complained to the manager (at) the Old Market, got her meal for free, scored a complimentary dessert and stiffed the wait staff." Mostly, people felt, Omaha is what it is - a metaphor for the nation. With Trump, we all end up abandoned in the cold and dark, trying to get home.

"I could strand people in the middle of nowhere Nebraska and they would still vote for me." - Donald J. Trump
Rush Limbaugh, aka "That cigar-smoking, A.M. radio talkshow guy with the opulent bedroom with clouds painted on the ceiling that got the 2020 Presidential Medal of Freedom."

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