Plummeting Loser


Friendless at the UN. EPA photo. Front photo Bloomberg News

Maybe it's because he just told his 487,564th and 487,565th lies - he "very quickly" read Bob Woodward's "boring" book last night and we'll have a COVID vaccine by around Friday - or he admitted during his weekly therapy session on Fox News he wanted to assassinate Syria's Assad until some relative adults in the room stopped him or his Trump Make America Great Again Committee fundraising ad calling on people to “support our troops” uses a stock photo of Russian fighter jets and Russian models dressed as soldiers because what fact-checking or his insane posts encouraging people to vote twice are so egregious Twitter keeps having to flag them for violating their “Civic Integrity Policy" or in a totally normal thing for the President of the United States to do he re-posted a tweet echoing a deranged QAnon slur under the hashtag #PedoBiden, which as Meidas Touch swiftly, savagely noted was possibly not such a smart move for the Sexual-Assaulter-In-Chief or, we dunno, maybe because to date he's killed 195,000 of his supposed constituents through Hague-worthy gross criminal negligence, sociopathic indifference, grotesque ineptitude and unceasing lies - but for whatever reason, scientists aren't the only ones who've decided Trump is a worthless orange chocolate starfish.

A comprehensive new poll by the esteemed Pew Research Center has found that global views of America and its so-called leader have plummeted "from poor to abysmal," especially over his disastrous pandemic response, with international confidence in the US reaching historical lows in several countries and Trump deemed the least trusted leader in the world. Surveying  over 13,000 adults in 13 advanced countries, Pew found just 16% of those polled had confidence the cretinous Trump would "do the right thing in world affairs." Though the number seems astonishingly high to some of us, his rating is still below both Putin's (23%) and China's Xi Jinping (19%); as Pew puts it, both those despots' ratings "are overwhelmingly negative, although not as negative as those for Trump." In contrast, German Chancellor Angela Merkel was voted the most trusted leader, with a 76% approval rating. Despite his obscene, delusional drivel on the subject, the poll also found all 13 countries consider Trump's response to coronavirus the worst in the world, with 85% of people giving much higher ratings to their own countries, the EU and the Trump-maligned WHO. Still, Trump was right about one thing: Hearing him babble that "herd mentality" will make COVID go away, we realize we're finally tired of winning. Let's make it stop.


Still friendless at World War 1 commemoration. Bloomberg News


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