Scuzzy Crook Frees Scuzzy Crook

Mob Boss Strikes Again: In another gobsmackingly venal but entirely unsurprising move, Trump just commuted - even better than pardon! - the sentence of longtime henchman and Nixon fanboy Roger Stone, because even though Stone was convicted by a jury on seven counts of lying to Congress, witness tampering, obstruction and otherwise hiding the lamentable fact that Russia owns us now, what really matters is he knows where the bodies are and was coyly hinting he might spill. The Friday night horror show came after Stone, who was scheduled to start serving a 40-month sentence in a few days, told NBC News Trump knew "I was under enormous pressure to turn on him - it would have eased my situation considerably," but, hey, crooks of a feather. Stone was startlingly specific in his online order: He'd like the blue one please, and oh yes he didn't want a pardon, which implies guilt, but a commutation of his sentence. Ask and you shall receive, at least if you're not that nasty truth-telling Lt. Col. Vindman.

"In light of the egregious facts and circumstances surrounding his unfair prosecution, arrest, and trial, the President has determined to commute his sentence,” Press Barbie Kayleigh McEnany intoned in a garbled statement. “Roger Stone has already suffered greatly," though Barr et al had already egregiously tinkered with the case and Stone didn't actually serve a day or even ever have to lose the crease in his ever-foppish duds. More babbling from Stone's attorney: “Mr. Stone is incredibly honored that President Trump used his awesome and unique power under the Constitution of the United States for this act of mercy.” Awesome? Really? Sentient beings were suitably horrified: "Third. World. Country...Trump has abandoned the rule of law...Most. Corrupt. Ever....This is not a democracy; it's a crime syndicate...“If the country needed any more evidence, Friday confirmed the greatest threat to the Republic is the president himself.” Also: VOTE.

Oh, but you who philosophize disgrace and criticize all fears
Bury the rag deep in your face
For now's the time for your tears


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