Pence At CPAC: All Right Now

cpac-trump-impersonator-rt-jef-200227_hp

Photo by Joshua Roberts/Reuters

Because it's not like there's anything else he should be doing these days, VP Mike Pence spoke Thursday at CPAC, the annual, wingnut-studded, paranoid-filled, "choleric mud puddle at the heart of the right-wing fever swamp" - aka the “largest and most influential gathering of conservatives in the world” - where this year's theme is the libs' "coup" against Our Great President and the associated evils of socialism. Never big on nuance, this year's event features a rolling, Avengers-movies-like panorama of coup-themed fantasy scenarios - from “The Coup on The Republic: A Prelude” to “The Coup: Impeachment - Hyped Slimes and Nancy’s Schemer” to “The Coup: A Witch Hunt Begins -  Hillary’s Ukrainian Insurance Policy” - all aimed at proving that "Mr. Trump has been treated very, very unfairly." There are also at least eight events on the dangers of socialism because, as Pence noted in astonishment, "the party of Harry Truman and JFK is actually on the verge of nominating an avowed socialist," though we have no idea who that might be. Pence appeared Thursday, the day after being terrifyingly and inexplicably named the Coronavirus Czar thanks to his strong scientific background and stellar record on handling epidemics. Just kidding.

SCROLL TO CONTINUE WITH CONTENT

Please make a #GivingTuesday donation to help support the journalism you count on from Common Dreams

We depend on our readers to keep us alive and growing.

Please—no amount is too large or too small—select a donation method and help us today:



To reflect his optimism, Pence entered to the tune of "All Right Now," the fighting song for Stanford University's  marching band, which in 2016 sent Trump a mock cease-and-desist letter on "philosophical grounds"; they also noted the song is actually about "a dude trying to hook up with a meter maid," which Mother probably wouldn't like. But Pence was upbeat on the virus: Trump has taken “unprecedented actions” to protect Americans and the risk “remains low” and “We are ready for anything.” Still, he declared, “This is no time for partisanship.” Then he launched into an aggressively partisan spiel: America needs four more years of, and freedom works, and we need to win not just the next election but the next generation, and how great is it to be done with Obama, who was "sending pallets of cash to terrorists in Iran," and we need to get those commie Dems, especially the Jewish one. About ten minutes into Pence's remarks, a Trump-like protester with a ripped-stocking mannequin casually slung over his shoulder stood up near the front of the audience and began yelling about Trump's “white supremacy.” As security rounded him up and escorted him out, the zealous crowd of faithful broke into go-to, raucous chants of "USA!" "USA!" - but extremely non-partisan ones, so everything's all right.

cpac_oup-a-palooza-804x456.jpg

All the best people

This is the world we live in. This is the world we cover.

Because of people like you, another world is possible. There are many battles to be won, but we will battle them together—all of us. Common Dreams is not your normal news site. We don't survive on clicks. We don't want advertising dollars. We want the world to be a better place. But we can't do it alone. It doesn't work that way. We need you. If you can help today—because every gift of every size matters—please do. Without Your Support We Simply Don't Exist.

Please select a donation method:



Share This Article