Hell To The Yeah

Vindman, hero. AP Photo

Tuesday's impeachment hearings featured more damning testimony from local hero and National Security Council aide Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman, ranging from his statement "I knew I had to report" the Ukraine call to his defining Trump's ask for investigations into Biden "not a request, but an order.” In a poignant opening statement, he thanked his father for leaving the Soviet Union 40 years ago to give him and his brothers "a better life" in a country “free of fear,” noting, "Dad, I'm sitting here today in the U.S. Capitol, talking to our elected professionals" as "proof that you made the right decision." He also added a disquieting assurance that once upon a time wouldn't be needed: “Do not worry, I will be fine for telling the truth.” Meanwhile, at an unhinged "Cabinet meeting," the aspiring tinpot dictator who prompted that declaration was pointlessly insisting he didn't know Vindman, telling reporters Democrats are "sick people," charging the press is "dangerous," and praising his defenders for "killing it" - even though, unable to actually defend him, they were resorting to smears, games and props, like a foot-tall stack of transcripts that only once mentioned "bribery" - a Constitutionally-mandated impeachable offense - thus proving that, ummm...

After his opening statement, Vindman faced multiple hostile Republicans, who sought to attack the credibility, patriotism and performance of a Purple Heart recipient and 20-year Army veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan whose immigrant brothers also all served in the military. They included slimy Jim 'What Sexual Abuse?' Jordan, who charged that Vindman's boss and colleagues "had concerns about your judgement." In response, the flinty Vindman read from his last job review: "Alex is a top one-percent military officer and the best Army officer I've worked with in my 15 years of government service. He is brilliant, unflappable and exercises excellent judgment." Because that wasn't enough schooling for one day, Vindman then took on Devin Nunes, the fake farmer currently suing for $250 million an imaginary cow who makes fun of him on Twitter - an act his lawyer has called "a matter of grave import" and ActBlue has called a good reason to get rid of him. With his usual acuity, Nunes threw empty words at Vindman - whistleblower, hoax, Hunter Biden, more hoax - hoping some would stick. Then he went for what he evidently thought would be the kill. "Mr. Vindman," he intoned, "you testified in your deposition that you did not know the whistleblower." In response, the good soldier firmly, curtly clapped back with the mic drop of the year: "Ranking Member, it's Lieutenant Colonel Vindman, please." This is what God invented Twitter for.

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