When the Clowns Stormed the Circus, Brought Their (Illegal) Phones and Ordered Pizza To Save the Republic

Yahoos storming the impeachment inquiry. CBS Screenshot

We guess the bonkers news of the day was Trump lapdog Matt 'Big Hair/ Wee Brain' Gaetz and a coupla dozen other GOP yahoos storming a secure House hearing room to protest Adam Schiff's "Soviet style" - aka Constitutionally mandated and protected - impeachment inquiry. As many pointed out, the most egregious part of the stunt was their wholly illegal whipping out of cell phones in violation of House deposition rules, thus committing what experts deemed a "major security breach" - a breach laughably exacerbated when they tweeted from the classified room, suddenly realized they were advertising, "Look Ma, we're committing a crime!" and then awkwardly, gutlessly backtracked by claiming their staff had done the tweeting. Some stayed just long enough to yell gibberish at Democrats doing their job before leaving again; others settled down with Cheez-Its and pizza they ordered in, happy they were following the instructions of their Dear Leader to "fight harder" to obstruct not just legal but vital proceedings, and never mind their once-upon-a-time-in-Benghazi claims "we always follow the rules."
 
Not, House Homeland Security Committee Chairman Bennie Thompson (D-Miss.) subsequently argued as he formally requested the House sergeant-at-arms "take action" against the wannabee freedom fighters for their "unprecedented (and) blatant breach of security." Calling the issue "an urgent security matter," he noted the action “violates the Oath all Members of Congress sign to gain access to classified information.” Thompson didn't clarify what "action" he'd like to see; options include censure, fines, and stripping the offenders of security clearances or committee positions. But given the hundreds of righteous citizens in the last year often roughly arrested for likewise barging into Congress for far more honorable reasons - women shut out for protesting the nomination of a lying rapist on our highest court, people with disabilities and other rights advocates dragged from their wheelchairs for insisting on their access to health care - many wondered why the Capitol Police and their bountiful zip-ties were missing in action only when pudgy white guys in suits were doing the disrupting. Their favorite proposed "action" was soon trending in a hashtag: #ArrestGaetz.
"If the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts. If the law and the facts are against you, pound the table and yell like hell." - Carl Sandburg
 https://t.co/RJq27TIX0m— RotterdamParagliding (@RParagliding)

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