Last year's welcoming committee. Photos by Chris Ratcliffe/Getty Images
Finally getting the grown-up hoopla he was inexplicably promised two years ago by P.M. Theresa May, Little Donnie will make his first and God willing last state visit to the U.K. June 3 to 5 to mark the 75th anniversary of D-Day and what the White House calls "the steadfast and special relationship" between our two countries. No doubt to honor his illustrious military career, Private Bone Spurs will attend an elaborate D-Day ceremony in Portsmouth complete with a flyover of 26 types of RAF aircraft and "one of the greatest British military spectacles in recent history”; he will also dine with the Queen, meet with May, and travel to Normandy with President Macron to pretend he actually knows something about the history he's supposedly celebrating. During his trip last year across the pond, Trump avoided London and its massive protests, but he also missed out on the shiny, hollow pomp - the carriage ride! the ranting to Parliament! - his fragile-yet-imperial ego craves. This year, with even more atrocities under his belt, it seems unlikely he'll be greeted with the adoring crowds of his fever dreams given that Brits are responding to his "bonkers" visit with comments like, "kissing his despotic a** is out of the question," "The entire UK denounces Trump for what he is: simply put, an international embarrassment," and "friends don’t let friends play host to lying whoremongering authoritarians."
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Echoing them are the Scottish, who loathe Trump; the Irish, whose leader is "doing his best to minimize his exposure" to Trump and declares protests are "not only allowed, but welcome"; and Britain's Labor lawmakers, who say “it beggars belief” their government will welcome a "Bitter Old Twat" and "orange hole." Over 50 MPs are campaigning to cancel the visit while others vow to boycott a state dinner or speech to Parliament, denouncing Trump's comments on women, Muslims, refugees, torture, people of color, extremists, climate change, rape as a weapon of war and other crimes; Labor MP David Lammy calls Trump “deluded, dishonest, xenophobic, narcissistic” and decries May for "selling out the UK to a serial liar and a cheat.” Behind them are the people. A staggering million-plus Londoners say they will hit the streets to protest the visit, and Londoners oppose it two-to-one. Hoping to join protestors is the creator of a Trump robot tweeting on a toilet while making rude noises, and the Trump Baby blimp, with a real-world twist. "Though demonstrably hilarious, flying a 20-ft-high bright orange inflatable isn't going to change the world all on its own," note organizers, who have called for donations to six groups affected by Trump's hate. Trump Baby will fly again, they say, if they raise £30,000 for the UK's Student Climate Network, Jawaab, fighting against Islamophobia, and Sisters Uncut, which supports domestic violence victims, as well as the U.S. Sunrise Movement, Planned Parenthood, and United We Dream, working for immigrants rights. Help all these good folks send the same message on Trump: "Fuck off. He is not welcome."