South Park Meets Shark Tank: Two Leaders, One Destiny, So Many Fabulous Waterfront Condos

 

Just picture the condos. They'll be the best.

Among the many weirdnesses of the Trump-Kim Jong Un summit, wherein two liars/bullies - so far just one of them murderous - reached a very brief, very vague "agreement": The fact that Trump left behind the rubble of our Western alliances to go negotiate with the brother-murdering, hundreds-of-thousands-of dissidents-imprisoning leader of one of the world's most repressive regimes, that he ended up with a paltry, loosey-goosey, one-page accord -  Obama's Iran deal ran 159 pages that insisted on precise benchmarks and verification - and that the news of said toothless  agreement brought us Dennis Rodman sobbing with joy in his MAGA hat on CNN. Still, more deranged yet was the White House's cheesy movie trailer featuring soaring music, skipping schoolchildren, waving flags and ostensibly stirring rhetoric portraying the liars/bullies as heroes of the future: "Two men, two leaders, one destiny... Only a few are called on to make a difference." Thus, the vanity logo: "A Destiny Pictures Production.”

At a word-salad presser after the showing - most American media assumed it was a North Korean propaganda film thanks to the "See Dick. See Jane. Dick and Jane Are Friends" level of narrative sophistication - Trump even upped the weirdness quota. He said he'd shown it to North Korean officials "on cassette...uh, an iPad" and they "fascinated" by it, adding, "I thought it was well done." Describing possible future development, he waved his hands and said, “You know, with super everything, to the top. It's going to be up to them.” Then, because this was essentially a glitzy "elevator pitch" to convince investors to give him money, he offered a singularly Trumpian solution to the issue of a nuclear North Korea: "Think of it from a real estate perspective." As an example, he said, "They have great beaches. You see that whenever they’re exploding their cannons (sic) into the ocean. I said, boy, look at that view. Wouldn’t that make a great condo? And I (said), you know, instead of doing that you could have the best hotels in the world right there. How bad is that, right?” What a great time to be alive. And don't forget, as Destiny Pictures wisely reminds us, "One moment, one choice, what if? The future remains to be written."

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