The State of the Uniom Is Pained, Misspelled and By Now Pretty Much Beyond Parody


We couldn't handle watching/hearing the State of the Union's lies and platitudes, so we checked out The Onion's extensive coverage instead. As usual, it deftly captured the demented mood: Lawmakers bringing as guests an endangered wolf and a statue of Jefferson Davis, Pence donning altar boy robes, Trump boasting about the first and bestest SOTU ever, his ever-obliging staff handing out wicker baskets full of Colt .45s and .357 Magnums to defend against the thugs overrunning us - a move met with gleeful cocking of weapons and "celebratory small-arms fire."

Earlier, The Onion noted, senior advisor and Nazi wannabe Stephen Miller rewarded himself for the hard work of the speech by visiting a local ICE detention center to see all the terrified, parentless Mexican kids held in federal custody; their tear-streaked faces "filled his heart with joy." Likewise before the speech, a GOP lawmaker threatened to arrest any like-minded "illegal aliens" who dared to turn up as guests of commie Democrats. No. Wait. That actually happened.  So did the epic, righteous response of Virgina Rep. Gerry Connolly: "No one threatens my guest. You'll have to go through me and break my bones first." With friends like that - and the tireless Bernie Sanders - we may yet make it through.


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