Huh, talk about synchronicity. With publication of Michael Wolff's explosive "Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House" abruptly pushed up from next week to Friday - because clamorous public buzz beats pointless, bombastic cease-and-desist threats every time - it looks like it will now make the deadline for Drumpf's "MOST DISHONEST & CORRUPT MEDIA AWARDS Of THE YEAR," which he plans to announce Monday at 5 o'clock, unless he's impeached first. "Subjects will cover Dishonesty & Bad Reporting in various categories from the Fake News Media," he added with his usual random caps.
The contest idea followed his boast last fall that the century-old name "fake news" - which he evidently defines as any credible reporting he doesn't like - was “one of the greatest of all terms I’ve come up with." In an email following that tenuous train of thought, he blasted "peddlers of falsehoods and liberal propaganda,” asked supporters to vote on three media stories as “fake,” “faker” or “fakest,” and proclaimed, “Americans are sick and tired of being lied to, insulted, and treated with outright condescension.”
Just so, said most of America, including its late-night hosts, who swiftly took the idea and ran amuck with it. With days till the marginally anticipated awards, they're giddily vying for the honor of being annihilated for their commie hogwash - aka incisive skewering of our lunatic national discourse. Jimmy Kimmel renamed the event "The Stupid People's Choice Awards" but worries the deeply unwell Dear Leader can't give an award to anyone but himself. Trevor Noah proudly posted a few negative reviews, but they pale before Samantha Bee's - "This twat is a libtard idiot" - which is why she itches to sweep the "Dishonesties" with a "Shrillest Reporting" trophy.
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The hungriest among them, though, is Stephen Colbert, because "nothing gives you more credibility than Donald Trump calling you a liar." Having already been ripped by Trump, who should know, as "a no-talent guy," Colbert is so eager to win "The Fakies" he put up an Edward R. Murrow-esque billboard, in Times Square yet, pleading "For Your Consideration." The categories he hopes to win include Outstanding Achievement In Parroting George Soros’ Talking Points, Best Chex Mixing, Fakest Dishonesty, Corruptest Fakeness, Dishonestest Corruption and, of course, Smallest Button. We wish all the nominees, but especially him, God speed and enduring good cheer.
"The devil...the prowde spirite...cannot endure to be mocked.” - Thomas More