We're running short on jokes now that grotesque aging pervert Donald "Women Are Very Special" Trump has pretty much endorsed racist homophobic Roy "I Like Hitting On 14-Year-Old Girls" Moore because he thinks having a pedophile in the Senate is better than having a Democrat who might hinder his vile tax cuts, even though at least nine women supported by 30 corroborating witnesses have charged him with repeated sexual harassment, abuse and assault, which is at least fewer than the at least 16 women who have likewise charged our own daughter-groper and Abuser-In-Chief with similar crimes. When a gonzo pastor defends the actions of a serial pedophile seeking to be elected to Congress by explaining that for said pedophile, "There is something about a purity of a young woman, there is something that is good, that’s true, that’s straight," and when Trump claims the Democrat who went after the KKK for killing little black girls in church is "soft on crime" and issues his "very fine people" comment on child molesters by noting he believes said molester's denials even though he always charges everyone else - Obama, Gold Star parents, military widows et al - is lying and when the Central Park 5 also denied their crimes and provided DNA evidence to prove their innocence he still wanted them to get the death penalty - when this happens, we are in deep, dark waters. We feel slightly better seeing the recent smackdowns handed him by multiple courts: on the transgender military ban - by two courts, one calling it "shocking...capricious, arbitrary" - the umpteenth travel ban, and the effort to block funds to sanctuary cities. The fact of his ineptness in all things makes us feel minimally grateful. But the fact he's an evil fuck still makes us want to puke. Sorry, that's all we got tonight.
In Newly Horrifying Lowering of the Bar, Serial Sexual Predator Endorses Serial Child Molester So He Can Make More Money