Cards Against Humanity Stops the Wall and Saves America

Unfrigginbelievable. Photo by Getty Images
"It's 2017, and the government is being run by a toilet," notes the creators of the raunchy, cogent, often rudely politically incorrect Cards Against Humanity (CAH) party game "for horrible people" announcing their newest launch. "Donald Trump is a preposterous golem who is (so) afraid of Mexicans that he wants to build a twenty-billion dollar wall that everyone knows will accomplish nothing," they explained. "So we’ve purchased a plot of vacant land on the border and retained a law firm specializing in eminent domain to make it as time-consuming and expensive as possible for the wall to get built." "We have no choice," they conclude. "Cards Against Humanity is going to save America."
The new project echoes many of CAH's earlier games, with perhaps a bit more foul-mouthed fury. "How do you play?" asks a basic FAQ. "Here are the fucking rules." Players fill in the blanks on black and white cards to come up with often dark, profane or inappropriate responses mixed with a hefty dose of political conscience. "Make (blank) great again" gets "talking about the size of your penis on TV." Also: "And the Academy Award for (not giving a shit about the Third World) goes to (God)." "What ended my last relationship?" gets "Unfathomable stupidity." Poop, balls, penises, blow jobs, Auschwitz, incest and "some douche with an acoustic guitar" periodically get mentions, often in peculiar juxtapositions.
New versions are often announced on their blog, and usually sell out fast. CAH For Her, with a Period Pack, was the same game in a pink box and $5 more; proceeds went to Emily's List. Cards Against Silicon Valley was for "horrible tech people" savvy about "understated sexism" and "Nintendo-based drinking games." Humanity Hates Trump was later joined by Hillary, Too. They've done good stuff: Provided thousands of porta-potties with poop info for the March For Science, released a science-themed pack for women in STEM, paid for workers at its factory in China to go on vacation. They've done gonzo stuff: Post-election last year, they raised $100,000 to dig a senseless Holiday Hole - live-streamed - to mark Black Friday. "The holidays are here, and everything in America is going really well," they proclaimed. The FAQs: "Is this real? Unfortunately it is." "Where is the hole? America. And in our hearts."
This week, they released a wry, weird, avocado-themed video announcing they'd bought land on the U.S.-Mexico border to block Trump's "big, beautiful wall," which - WTF - already boasts 8 prototypes. The launch is part of a holiday deal: A $15 donation toward the land purchase and legal defense of it gets you six days of surprise, "America-saving" gifts in December. As usual, the FAQs are killer. "Weren’t you (not) going to do one of these complicated holiday promotions again? We're liars, just like the president." "What are the six surprises? The nature of a surprise is that it surprises you." "What are you saving America from? Injustice, lies, racism, the whole enchilada." "Is CAH being politically correct now? We’re just being regular correct." "I’d like to cancel my order. We’d like to cancel the 2016 election, but neither of us is going to get what we want." Many others won't either; they sold out in hours.

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