Puerto Rico Hit By Second Catastrophe In Form Of Sociopathic Orange Clown

Puerto Rico Hit By Second Catastrophe In Form Of Sociopathic Orange Clown

 

Photo by Gerald Herbert/AP

Somehow successfully crossing all that big water, Big Cheeto made tone-deaf landfall Tuesday in Puerto Rico, where 95% of residents still lack electricity and over half have no water and little food. Before he went, he told reporters that local Puerto Ricans "have to give us more help” and boasted, "It’s now acknowledged what a great job we’ve done - we get an A-plus" - even though Oxfam, which usually offers humanitarian aid to developing nations, has decided to step in and help because the Administration's response has been such a shit show. Once on the island, Trump reiterated his deranged themes: Me Me Me Me and the rest of you are losers, though the weather's swell here.

He bragged he's done a fabulous job and "all of my people" have too, except that bitch Mayor Carmen Yulín Cruz. He said FEMA administrator Brock Long has been "unbelievable. And this has been the toughest one. This is a Category 5, which few people have ever heard of," though the storm was a Category 4. He said of John Kelly, "You have no idea of how he is. So Gen. Kelly is a four-star. Not a bad general, right? You don't get any better than Gen. Kelly." Except maybe  Gen. Buchanan: "And there's no doubt about it, you’re a general. There’s a reason you’re a general, right?”

He said Puerto Ricans should be "very proud" because so far they only have 16 documented deaths - "What is your death count?" he asked the governor, who has said the number will rise - unlike "a real catastrophe like Katrina," which saw "literally thousands of people" killed, though the number was 1,800. He complained the recovery was "throwing our budget a little out of whack." He visited a family whose house was destroyed with no food, water or power and told them, "Have a good time." At a photo op, he shot paper towels into the crowd like bananas to monkey. He took a long, weird detour to tell three million people without water or power, "We are ordering hundreds of millions of dollars worth of new airplanes for the Air Force, especially the F-35. You can’t see it, literally, you can’t see it. So it’s hard to fight a plane that you can’t see, right? But that’s an expensive plane that you can’t see. And as you probably heard, we cut the price very substantially, something that other administrations would never have done. That I can tell you."

And at the end of the day, Puerto Rico Gov. Ricardo Rossello announced the federal government had denied their request to waive restrictions so that residents could use their food stamps for ready-to-eat hot meals like soup, pizza or sandwiches - this, despite widespread food shortages, the million-plus people on the island who rely on food stamps, and the fact that the feds earlier granted similar waivers to less brown hurricane victims in Texas and Florida. So yeah. We got nothing, except make it stop.

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