Welcome To Lethal Lace and Packin' Neat, Coming To A Gun-Death-Wracked City Near You
Photo by Joshua Lott/AFP/Getty
Exhibiting their usual supreme sensitivity to soaring gun deaths in this country - and because, really, it's exactly what we need at this divisive and volatile juncture in our nation's history - the NRA held a Carry Guard Expo this weekend in Milwaukee, a city torn by at least 66 gun-related homicides so far this year. Citing today's “unprecedented violence and global threat,” presumably by brown and black people, the event featured workshops like "The Glock Armorer's Course," "Bullet Proof Mind for the Armed Citizen," "Basic Hemorrhage Control," "Every Day Carbine" and "The Most Important Skills You WILL Need in a Gunfight." Because what matters here is growing if deadly profits, the event also boasted its first Concealed Carry Fashion Show for anyone "looking for the perfect product to conceal your firearm for everyday activities!"
Models walked the runway wearing bra, waist, thigh and ankle holsters from heretofore-never-heard-of-but-undoubtedly-upstanding companies like Man-PACK, Lady Conceal, Packin’ Neat, Femme Fatale, Wicked Holsters, Hiding Hilda and Lethal Lace, whose sexy waist or thigh wrap-around holster was a big hit. Members of "Wisconsin Anti-Violence Effort" marched to protest an NRA vision that seeks to "profit off Milwaukee's pain," "encourages people to treat their fellow Americans as enemies," and ceaselessly works to arm them for that vile purpose. Gun freaks mostly had a blast anyway, though in a piece titled "Where Are the Babes?" one questioned the use of "shall we say 'unsophisticated' models," thus reaffirming liberals' belief that "gun owners are hicks." Next year, he suggested, there should be more glamor, and maybe some Israelis "who could git ‘er done." Yeah, we bet they could.