Ivanka Is Overjoyed By These Beautiful Letters Her Heinous Dad and His Low-Lifes Wrote Pretending To Be Kids Thanking Her For...Umm


These people are grotesque. The same day her cretin, draft-dodging father signed a memo banning transgender people from joining the military - a mindless move widely condemned as "cruelty for cruelty's sake" - AND pardoned racist sherriff Joe Arpaio, both under cover of a hurricane threatening, an ever-blinded-by privilege Ivanka "I Don't Actually Do Anything" Trump posted a smugly smiling photo of herself with a neat little pile of super-fake-looking letters allegedly sent her by America's grateful children. "Overjoyed by these beautiful letters," she tweeted. "Reading them is one of the highlights of my week." 

Cue swift, savage snark. Noting the odd coincidence that most of the letters bore the same writing, markers and message - "Thank you Ms. Ivanka Trump" - skeptics took to wondering how Donald found the time to write all those letters, if they came from the kids working in her Chinese sweatshops or the Bangladeshi ones, if "you got the one from my kids calling you a vacuous, hypocritical narcissist?" and, "Inquiring minds want to know: What do you do?" Others were mock admiring - "Your father is showing progress. Needs to concentrate on his sentence structure and colors" - and curious about the future: "Will you get letters in prison?"

Most agreed, though, that one scrawled picture - a face with dollar signs for eyes - was legit. "Nailed it," said one art critic. The debacle also prompted one observer to issue a broader message to those who are trapped in complicity, like Ivanka, but perhaps considering escape. "To the White House staffer who had to spend their morning drawing thank you notes with crayons and markers in different handwritings," she wrote. "You don’t have to live like this."


Improved versions of the letters

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