Say What: Scarface Meets Survivor Meets Mob Wives Meets The Jerk

We kinda feel like this too
We can't even. Here's what happened this week in the toxic bedlam that is our low-rated, increasingly hallucinogenic national reality show. Crass Little Donny, who is not well, spewed inappropriate bile to the Boy Scouts, after which they felt they had to apologize for the alleged president's lack of decorum and human decency; randomly declared by tweet that trans people would be banned from military service, after which the military said not so fast; and urged police to bring on as much brutality and death-by-rough-ride as they liked, after which the International Association of Chiefs of Police refuted him and insisted that police should "treat all individuals, whether they are complainant, suspect, or defendant, with dignity and respect” - thus turning, in this too-rare instance, the cops into the good guys.
There was also, of course, the GOP's welcome health care debacle. Alongside it came communications director Anthony Scaramucci's foul-mouthed, possibly coke-fueled meltdown with The New Yorker's Ryan Lizza, wherein The Mooch vowed to "fucking kill all the leakers," trashed Reince Priebus and Steve Bannon with a generous sprinkling of "fucking" and "cock-sucking," generally channeled his inept boss, and likewise quickly proved he's surrealy ill-equipped for prime time - or, as one observer put it, "What a clown."
Social media ate it up, suggesting he do the next Boy Scouts speech, fighting over the rights to the expected Mooch musical, "Smooth," and declaring, "Well, it can't get weirder than this....It just got much weirder than this." Seeking to defend his unsubtle, profane methods, the Mooch explained in a truly creepy, almost pussy-grabbing BBC interview, "Where I grew up, we're front-stabbers."
Guess so: Friday, in more turmoil, Priebus was out, and John Kelly was in. The same day, reports surfaced that the Mooch's nine-months-pregnant second wife Deidre Ball, who is "not a fan of Trump," had recently filed for divorce; a friend said Ball was fed up with her husband's "naked ambition" and the couple were not speaking. She gave birth to a son this week, the same day Mooch accompanied Drumpf as he verbally assaulted the Boy Scouts. When the divorce was reported, Mooch asked that we put his family "in your thoughts and prayers." Frankly, we're so busy with all this seedy drama we're not sure we have time. Also, amidst the commotion - and given the massive issues persistently sidelined by it - we keep wondering: Is America great again yet?

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