Blame Canada's Dairy Farmers, Our Newest Randomly Selected Enemy


Greetings from Ontario dairy farmers. From Twitter.

Because Little Donny watched a Fox business story he didn't understand, needed to tell Wisconsinites something they wanted to hear, can't get Mexico or us to pay for his dumbass wall, and needs a shiny new distraction before Day 100 when someone might notice he hasn't done anything, he's now attacking Canada (safer than North Korea, but still WTF?) in hopes of instigating a trade war based on misinformation. The debacle began last week in Wisconsin, where the newly enthused Everyone-Except-Me-Hire-American-Buy-American cheerleader, upon hearing that dairy farmers feel threatened by his own immigration policies and a milk surplus he learned about on Fox, once more slammed NAFTA - which in fact doesn't apply to milk or lumber - and blasted Canada's longtime regulatory system for "some very unfair things (that) have happened to our dairy farmers.” Returning to D.C., he further fumed from his bottomless, bellicose, pathological insecurity that, “We can’t let Canada or anyone else take advantage.”
Fast-forward to Tuesday, when the misconstruer-in-chief slapped a duty on Canadian lumber of up to 24% - one Canadian headline: "Well, That Escalated Quickly" - and angrily tweeted, “Canada has made business for our dairy farmers in Wisconsin and other border states very difficult. We will not stand for this. Watch!” In truth, what we're mostly watching is an inept loser itchy for a nice trade war do his sloppy best to start one despite his based on his misunderstanding of the issues involved. To wit: With remarkable consistency, economists, politicians and farmers all say the problems of U.S. farmers stem not from Canada's decades-long agricultural supply management system, which simply matches domestic supply with demand, but from a lack of regulation in the U.S. that has resulted in too much milk being produced.
Trump's proclivity for blaming someone else, often virtually anyone, for any difficulties is meeting with staunch resistance. For starters, even that Fox segment featured U.S. dairy farmers who disputed the Trumpian premise, insisted overproduction is the issue, and conceded that "pointing the finger at Canada (is) not really what’s going on." Of course Canadian dairy farmers pushed back harder, from sending profane messages from Ontario, vowing they won't be bullied in Alberta, shaking their disbelieving heads in Manitoba, suggesting Trump is just "milking off," and repeatedly arguing Trump's claims are "certainly not fact." "It's an outburst, the kind of outburst that we’ve become accustomed to unfortunately," noted former Canadian ambassador to the U.S. Derek Burney, who urged calm. "We've got to resist it. We've got to (make) a factual rejection of every inane statement he makes about us.”
Other Canadians were likewise skeptical. Among the responses on Twitter: "And as Trump's first 100 days sputter to a pathetic conclusion, he tries to save face by complaining about Canadian dairy farmers. Sad." "For far too long, Americans have suffered under the oppressive boot heel of, uh.. *spins Price is Right wheel* Canadian dairy farmers!" and, ingeniously killing two imaginary birds with one improbable stone, "Trump attacks Canadian dairy farmers, vows to protect the northern border with a wall of hardened fondue." Later, a call between Trudeau and Dumpster produced hilariously diverging reports, with Trump briefly characterizing the exchange as "amicable" and the Canadians leveling several quietly seething charges about lies, misstatements and nonsensical tomfoolery. One observer on Twitter likened it to two Rashomon-like accounts: He: "The date went great." She: "He set fire to the table and stole my dog."

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