Our Idiot Governor Strikes Out Again Chapter 782

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Recent mural of our beloved leader. Photo by Shawn Patrick Ouellette/Portland Press Herald

Sorry for more news of moronic thugs, but here in Maine we continue to suffer under the lunatic rule of Paul LePage and his “three-ring circus of unhinged racism and ravings.” After too many off-the-wall rants, slurs, screw-ups, profane late-night threatening calls to lawmakers and declaring people of color "the enemy" in part because they make up 90% of the state's heroin dealers - after which he was forced to produce an infamous three-ring binder of dealers who - surprise! turn out to be more white than black - he had a stupid tiff with the Maine Human Rights Commission over a ruling he disagreed with, and embarked on yet another mindless witch-hunt.

In classic awful schoolyard bully fashion, he vowed revenge on the Commission by ordering an investigation into their alleged bias against business, though not before typically forgetting to tell the public as required by law and then hastily scrambling, months later, to do so. This week - shocker! - the panel's 30-page, who-knows-how-many-thousands-in-taxpayers'-money-wasted report found absolutely no bias. However, it did find the Commission is "wildly under-funded," and that our clown of a governor is sticking his pudgy vengeful fingers where they don't belong - ie into the workings of an independent agency just trying to do their friggin' job.


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In response to this latest in a long line of petty, nonsensical grudge matches, review panelist James Clifford, a Maine lawyer, submitted some helpful additional comments by way of Groucho Marx: “Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.” This week, he was joined in his censure by the Washington Post, which in a blistering take-down cited the guv's “memorable assaults on decent governance and public civility,” called him "completely unhinged," and urged him to resign.

After citing some of his many offenses - refusing to attend a MLK event or meet with the NAACP, threatening to shoot a political cartoonist, hiring his own relatives, suggesting President Obama “go to hell,” refusing to help addicts by providing a life-saving medication, and digging deep into his racist fever dreams to target the imaginary Shiftie, Smoothy and D-Money for dealing heroin - the Post suggests, "He really should move on - by resigning and seeking help, in order to spare the people of Maine more of his wild-eyed ramblings." We couldn't agree more. So do many, many Mainers - so many people, you wouldn't believe, the number is huge, sad! Yes, there are clear parallels here: We ended up with LePage after a misguided three-way contest, and have spent years witnessing the painful damage. Welcome to our national politics, writ small and ugly, and beware.

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