Celebrating Sandy Hook: The Demons Are Still Among Us

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We always think the NRA can't go any lower or loonier or tone-deaf or vile. We're always wrong. To mark Monday's third anniversary of the Sandy Hook shootings - the one that everyone thought would be the tipping point in carnage, except it wasn't - the NRA issued a series of increasingly unhinged messages aimed at fear-mongering a traumatized nation into thinking the only solution to our gun insanity is to buy more guns. Thus did they successfully and importantly remind us, lest we forget and despite ongoing outraged protests, that not only are they still here thank you very much, but they are earning more blood-soaked money than ever before, making more lethal and lunatic noise than ever before, and pose a greater, sicker danger than ever before.

For starters, they posted on Monday's actual anniversary of Newtown - somehow doggedly ignoring the brutal fact that Adam Lanza's first victim was his mother Nancy, who loved taking him shooting - a holiday gift guide for "The Outdoor, Gun-Loving, Adventuring Mom." Cool deals include the Kimber America Pepper Blaster - "Whether it’s along with her sidearm or instead of, you never want the main lady in your life to feel at a loss when threatened" - the Karen Foster hunting-themed scrapbooking designs - "Don’t leave those pages of your scrapbook blank and boring, liven them up with a bang!" -  the NRA Flashbang holster - "designed to be attached to the middle of the bra while the gun tucks beneath the underwire" - and several enticing firearms, including the Savage Arms Model 11/111 Lady Hunter. On Tuesday they added gifts for dads, including a new Smith and Wesson "that brings defensive handguns to an exciting new level!" Other enterprising, gun-carrying, God-fearing folks are likewise seeking to make the best of these troubled times; one company has created a new line of pins whose goal is "to announce your faith and commitment to self-defense" with three lovely gaudy proclamations that, "I Am Christian and I Carry." Happy gun-fetishist holidays!

Likewise on the Newton anniversary, and in furious response to post-San-Bernardino indignation about yet more platitudes being spilled along with yet more blood - sample Twitter comment: "Fuck your thoughts and prayers" - gun freak and NRA commentator Dana Loesch (ed.'s note: Oh my god have you ever seen this woman?!?) posted a truly hysterical rant calling out the New York Daily News for its terrific cover blaring "God Isn't Fixing This," thus earning Loesch's rage for being “the loudest, vilest, most condescending voice for what many people call the Godless Left” and their "utter moral depravity." She went on to attack those carrying out "a coordinated assault" on "our right to believe," citing a noble if imaginary majority who after our numbingly regular massacres “turned to earnest prayer... while political and media elites joined forces to insult and mock and disparage them." Such people, she sputters, "share the same fanatical fervor to tear apart the foundations of America as the terrorists who threaten our very survival. And together, they march hand-in-hand toward the possible, purposeful destruction of us all."


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Still, perhaps the vilest holiday message comes from Jihad Wayne LaPierre, who improbably just keeps getting creepier. In his latest sinister message from the underworld, he jaw-droppingly declares that amidst the gun violence he's fear-mongered into bloody existence and then unconscionably profited from, the NRA is "Freedom's Safest Place." He goes on, "You and I didn't choose to be targets in the age of terror. But innocents like us will continue to be slaughtered in concert halls, sports stadiums, restaurants and airplanes... No amount of bloodshed will ever satisfy the demons among us... But when evil knocks on our doors, Americans have a power no other people on the planet share: The full-throated right to defend our families and ourselves with our Second Amendment." So yup. In this holiday season of peace and joy, let us celebrate our fine 'Merikan Go USA! freedom to willfully, mindlessly, sorrowfully and without any minimally rational constraint slaughter ourselves unto oblivion. Talk about demons.

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