Am I Cool Yet: A Couple of Stoner Kids Reportedly Hack CIA Head John Brennan's Email To Show They Can and Urge Free Gaza

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Befuddled Brennan/Reuters photo

The (likely red-faced) feds are investigating the gleeful claims of two 13-year-old stoners that they hacked CIA director John Brennan's personal email account - by resetting his AOL password with info they bamboozled out of Verizon - where he had, Hillarygate notwithstanding, stored sensitive government information. The kids used the online alias CWA; the New York Post reported it “stood for ‘Crackas With Attitude,’ which (one hacker) said referred to him and a classmate with whom he smokes pot.”  The hacker described himself as a non-Muslim American high school student who was motivated by his opposition to US foreign policy and his support for Palestine.

Among the items they posted reportedly from Brennan's account: his contact list, his top-secret security clearance application, a spreadsheet detailing the clearance levels, emails, Social Security numbers and other information for over a dozen American intelligence officials, and a government letter about the use of "harsh interrogation techniques," aka torture. The self-declared hackers also found and published information from Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson and White House Deputy National Security Advisor Avril Haines.

Unnamed officials allowed as how the security breach, if confirmed, was a bit of a clusterfuck. It looked even worse after the kids implied they were stoned when they pulled it off. Said one source, "(The) problem with these older-generation guys is that they don’t know anything about cyber-security, and as you can see, it can be problematic.” From the CIA:  “We are aware of the reports that have surfaced on social media and have referred the matter to the appropriate authorities.”

Meanwhile, CWA tweets through the day were alternately garbled, defiant, goofy and earnest. They referred their audience to the hashtags #FreePalestine and #FreeGaza, urging, "Stop killing innocent people." They warned, "If i go quiet on this account, the cia losers have found me and are torturing me with their stupid methods." They broke for a nap. They said, "When I'm gone, just know I wanted peace,freedom and fairness for other people." They guffawed over "fat boy john brennan" and cited "the awkward moment when feds admit i had unauthorized access to the accounts and people are still saying i faked it." And they warned all their clueless elders,  "Step your game up homies, we own everything of you." Eventually, the account grew quiet. Probably doing homework.

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