This Is A Live Sit-Com We're Watching Here, or Maybe The End of Days

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In this loopy pre-election season, it's starting to feel like the Empire may fall not with a bang, but with unintelligible blather. Fox News (sic) has announced the top ten clown contestants for this week's GOP debate even as the tomfoolery surrounding their battle to the bottom grows, from bedlam at a Trump focus group - "Trump is the boss I have to constantly follow around and fix all the stuff that he broke with his mouth” - to angry labor advocates storming an unsuspecting Christie fundraiser to the bizarre spectacle of Ted Cruz making "machine-gun bacon," evidently because his advisors decided that putting guns and bacon together in a video would get him elected president 'cause sure why not. It's so weird on so many levels we don't know where to start, except to point out that he claims he's speaking as a Texan though he's Canadian-Cuban, it's a semi-automatic not a machine gun, health experts say you'd probably die if you try to eat bacon cooked that way, his “Mmmm, machine gun bacon” followed by his uber-creepy cackle is memorable in all the wrong ways, and wait - this is supposed to make us trust his judgment? Sigh. We would weep for our alleged democracy if we thought any of these idiots were likely to actually reign over anything more substantive than bacon-grease-covered video sets. All told, here's one of the most lucid commentaries ever on the upcoming debate and the daft extravaganza that is today's GOP.

And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy. And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard, and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion: and the dragon gave him his power, and his seat, and great authority.

- Revelation 13:1-2


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