Bullets to the Head: God's Just Wrath For Tolerating Wickedness In Our Midst Increasingly, and May We Say Dubiously, Being Called Upon To Get Rid of Pesky Gay People

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Pence signs the bill surrounded by God's best friends

Our nation's culture wars lurch on, propped up by ever more implausible calls to "Almighty God, giver of freedom and liberty" by bigots struggling to justify their distraught place on the wrong side of history. Thus do we have Indiana's “Religious Freedom Restoration Act," a new law allowing the devout, beleaguered by commie government intrusion, to discriminate against godless gays just like they want to and, obviously, just like Jesus would have wanted them to; and California's "Sodomite Suppression Act," a ballot initiative whereby "any person who willingly touches another person of the same gender for purposes of sexual gratification be put to death by bullets to the head or by any other convenient method...seeing that it is better that offenders should die rather than that all of us should be killed by God's just wrath against us for the folly of tolerating wickedness in our midst." 

Proclaiming "I support the freedom of religion for every Hoosier of every faith," Indiana Gov. Mike Pence (R) on Thursday signed into law the so-called “Religious Freedom Restoration Act” (RFRA) on behalf of those who "feel their religious liberty is under attack by government action." Though proponents had openly admitted its intent was to allow businesses to discriminate against same-sex couples - aka "to prevent incidents" like the gays demanding equal rights - Pence insisted, "This bill is not about discrimination...Indiana is rightly celebrated for the hospitality, generosity, tolerance, and values of our people, and that will never change," except for, you know. To  bolster his argument, he cited as precedent similar laws passed by other states, even though Indiana's was written differently and seemingly specifically to enable discrimination; it states that those who feel their religious conscience has been burdened can find legal protection “regardless of whether the state or any other governmental entity is a party to the proceeding.” The bill has prompted boycott threats from an array of groups, businesses and churches, from the gaming convention GenCon, the state's biggest money-maker, to the Disciples of Christ, an LGBT-friendly church long based in the state; their spokesman admirably declared the bill "contrary to the values of our faith... Hate and bigotry wrapped in religious freedom is still hate and bigotry."


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 Still, the hate-and-bigotry-ometer of Indiana's move pales in comparison to California's Sodomite Suppression Act, proposed by wacko lawyer Matt McLaughlin. It arrives thanks to that state's low-bar citizens' initiative process, which allows any lunatic to submit any proposal for a state ballot if he or she comes up with a $200 application fee. At that point, the state  Attorney General has 30 days to review it, after which it can be circulated to collect signatures. The Act reads, in part, "The abominable crime against nature known as buggery, called also sodomy, is a monstrous evil that Almighty God, giver of freedom and liberty, commands us to suppress on pain of our utter destruction even as he overthrew Sodom and Gomorrha...the People of California wisely command, in the fear of God, that any person who willingly touches another person of the same gender for purposes of sexual gratification be put to death by bullets to the head or by any other convenient method." It conveniently adds that if a state official isn't around to kill the offender, any good old boy can take up the task. For good measure, it also makes it a crime, punishable by 10 years in prison and permanent expulsion from the state, to advocate gay rights to an audience that includes minors. And praise Jesus.

Attorney General Kamala Harris is reportedly seeking authority from the state Supreme Court to quash the measure. But despite Harris calling the stunt "patently unconstitutional" and "utterly reprehensible" - and despite the widespread exploding of heads on the part of any other remotely normal person in California - legal experts say the proposal might have to move forward under the current law as a protected act of free speech. WTF? was the basic response of Charlotte Laws, a community activist and former politician who feels that the brutal, bellicose polarizing of our communities in the name of God is not the best way to move forward into a more humane future. Deciding to "fight fire with fire," she has filed - with the requisite $200 - the Intolerant Jackass Act declaring that "the abominable crime known as prejudice against sexual orientation” is “a destructive view that society commands us to suppress,” for which jackass perpetrators would have to attend sensitivity training and donate $5,000 to an LGBT organization. God bless free speech. Also Oscar Wilde: "Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people."

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