The Perfect (Sic) Body, Or Time To Start Throwing Up Dinner Again

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Real women, real bodies

Sheesh. It seems America's women are getting some cranky about our sexist cultural norms, like they're suddenly all, "Kale and orange-juice-soaked cotton balls for dinner, again?! WTF?!" Following in the wake of growing protests against photoshopping and the devastating social change campaign Stop the Beauty Madness, the latest trigger for their revolt against body-shaming is a new lingerie ad from Victoria's Secret, featuring a bunch of willowy white ribs-sticking-out women with the tagline, "The Perfect Body." NOT, say many pissed-off women. The campaign has spurred several outraged alternative campaigns insisting on women's right to "the perfect imperfect body," hashtags like #RealWomen and #IAmPerfect, rants on the brand's Facebook page - "And here's me thinking that the perfect body was the one I felt comfortable in - oh well, better get back to throwing up my dinner!" and a petition that's garnered almost 30,000 signatures in less than a week charging the campaign "perpetuates low self-esteem among women who do not fit into a narrow standard of beauty (and) contributes to a culture that encourages serious health problems such as negative body image and eating disorders.”

In one of those rare occasions when the Internet seems to serve a more useful purpose than providing a platform for cat memes and dog tricks - not that we have anything against them, especially the dogs - the company evidently felt the heat. On Thursday, it changed the text to "A Body For Every Body," which doesn't actually make any sense but is maybe slightly less offensive. Because change takes time, the models are all still skinny and white. For a bonus example of online outrage at its most entertaining, there were some pretty terrific responses to an Amazon Halloween ad for a Delicious Women's Phd Darling Sexy Costume - which deserved it for the mangled syntax alone, never mind the skimpy plunging fru fru bullshit of it. Sample reviews, many from actual lady PhD's: "Sleeves are too short & have no stripes. Costume does not feature a hood. This is a 'sexy BA' at best...Too cold for Britain...DIPLOMA INCLUDED?!?! Why the hell did I put myself through ten years of grad school!! Lesson learned....Oh! So that's what Ass. Professor means...Like all lady Ph.Ds, I frequently ask myself: 'How could I be sexier?'....The 'Delicious Women's Phd Darling Sexy Costume' was not delicious at all. But I ate it anyway."

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