Ferguson's Perfect Companion To Upheaval: More (Itsy Bitsy) Guns

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While the official state of emergency in Ferguson was just lifted, the repercussions of the murder of Michael Brown continue to swell. To wit: The Justice Department will open a civil rights investigation into police practices in addition to a similar probe by the FBI; the community has greeted the grand jury process considering charges against his killer - a deeply flawed process in and of itself dubbed "an essential element of the new Jim Crow" by critics, and in this case led by a prosecutor with a longtime sketchy past - with anger, skepticism and a petition with almost 120,000 signatures arguing that his office's oversight will only "sow further distrust and discord"; police have begun wearing body cameras which may or may not curb their historically racist behavior; and several lawsuits against their historically egregious racist abuses are pending. Clearly, Ferguson now needs healing, and a modicum of justice. Which is why they're getting more guns. Eager to "spark people’s attention" in the burgeoning concealed carry market, two Missouri companies have decided this is the moment to start producing cool new pocket-sized shotguns - to be followed by a pocket assault rifle! - that can draw as much blood and achieve as much carnage as their larger versions, but be cleverly, lethally hidden. Particularly cute is the Hedy Jane model targeting female shooters in bright girly colors, small enough to stick in your purse so your kids can find it while rummaging through out of random kid-like curiosity the way they often do, and realize it's almost as fun as an Uzi. There's also jewelry to match. Because freedom.

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