WTF: Fox News Says Texas' Catastrophic Spill Is Just A Distraction Like Oreos For A Dieter So Build Keystone Already

by
Abby Zimet

Several days after a collision in which a barge spilled 170,000 gallons of particularly heavy sticky oil, dubbed "really the worst stuff you can dump in the water," into Texas' Galveston Bay, crews are scrambling to contain tar balls being pushed to shore by winds and tides, shipping traffic has been held up, and biologists have found dozens of oiled birds from the nearby Bolivar Peninsula, one of the nation's most crucial bird habitats. With the spill occurring at the worst possible time - tens of thousands of wintering birds are still in the area, along with oysters, shrimp, crabs and fish, and many more are en route north - environmentalists say it could take years for the spill's full impact to be felt but "we expect this to get much worse." One of the country's busiest seaports, Galveston Bay is just up the coast from Port Arthur, Texas, where, if built, the  Keystone pipeline hauling similarly heavy tar sands crude from Alberta would end. The brilliant minds at Fox are so eager to get Keystone up and running - along with its 35 whole jobs - that the other day they impatiently dismissed news of the Galveston debacle and all the other debacles - "Anytime we hear these kind of things, it feels like another impediment to growing out our fossil fuel industry, another thing for environmentalists to rally around, although we know accidents are bound to happen.” - with an analogy truly out there, even for them.

“Just do the Keystone Pipeline already! Enough of the nonsense, these are all distractions...Much like anybody who wants to lose five pounds has a box of Oreos in front of them. Just get rid of the Oreos, and you’ll be fine. Same thing. Do the pipeline.”

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